Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.

Turns out, my guardian Angel is a drunk middle aged woman wearing a cowgirl hat in downtown Nashville, offering strangers free hits off the giant doob she bought on the street for $10, insisting she doesn’t have COVID, it’s just too big to take back to her hotel room

Remember when we’d be in line at the grocery store with our moms, and the store was like “If you’re not afraid of Bat Boy, you should be.”

Idk if you guys know this, but there’s actually a 28th amendment to the US Constitution, and it ratifies the law that, upon petting someone’s dog, you’re required to ask it if it smells your doggy on you.

Rebellion in my teens and 20’s: Eyeliner. Hot Topic. Music with the F word. Using my phone under the covers. Doing my homework in the morning instead of the night before. Wasting all my money on Starbucks. Forever 21. Rebellion in my 30’s: Still calling it Twitter.

Interested in appearing on an episode of "Growing Up Fundie"? We welcome Christians, Atheists, and everyone in between. I promise you: your story, your experiences, and your beliefs are interesting. forms.gle/pCfgxMSMnXS1KG…

@aceragoff Abe sure is.

@SydneyDavisJrJr Are we including the hat?

On this day, the first of July, in the 2023rd year of our lord, during my 31st trip around the sun, I tried to take a screenshot to show someone how my iphone screen was finally fixed.

5pm central time today myself and a wonderful group of knuckleheads will be hanging out with @SydneyDavisJrJr on her channel and chatting it up about religion 🤘🤘 come join us! There will be laughs, there will be tears, there will be heathenry! youtube.com/watch?v=akEOJz…

@604Atheist @MikeyFamine @CdnOllieman @SecularRarity @merhart2112 @FamilyDrBen @swede_irish Thank you so much for having me! I had a blast- you have a fantastic show

Finding out I need a mouth guard to protect myself from my own teeth-grinding at night doesn’t seem very Thirty Flirty and Thriving of me. Where was THIS part in all the rom coms???

YouTube be like: True Crime Host: “And what were your only daughter’s last words to you before she died?” Murdered Sorority Girl’s Mother: “She said… (stifles sob) she said to me-“ 🎶🎵🎶🎵WAYFAIR YOU’VE GOT JUST WHAT I NEED🎶🎵🎶🎵

It has come to my attention that the open mics here in Nashville have seen a recent and monumental uptick in “women who own birds” content from men, and to that I say: - You’re welcome for the free material - I’ll take my royalties via Venmo or CashApp

“Kerls erm breeeerrrrkerrrrn ernd erm ser LERRRRNSERRRRM” - Broken, by Seether

Boyfriend: *buys brand new 4K TV* My dumbass: “idk the picture quality seems the same as the old TV???” Boyfriend: “It’s probably better if you wear your glasses.”

My generation is so broke, we only know him as "Sherlock Rent"

I’m so pissed off about this new #Netflix password-sharing debacle, I’d cancel my membership right this very moment if I’d been the one paying for it all these years.

Between living with 3 parrots, 1 dog, and 1 human man, the first 4 hours of my day are spent politely but fervently begging one species to exist quieter, so that another species can sleep longer, before waking up cantankerously in search for food.

The moms of sassy teens on Netflix shows are starting to get WAYYY to close to the same age as me. Who do I send my complaint to about this????

Sometimes I think I would like being famous, and could totally handle the heat. Then I remember how I’m STILL pressed about the one time someone left a mild critique in my honesty box in 2007.

Name something supposedly casual that actually feels like a crime. I’ll go first: When I’m napping, and my dog is napping, but we aren’t napping together.