Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.

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Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.

Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.

@SydneyDavisJrJr

Comedian || Satirist || @TheSecondCity & @3rdcoastcomedy || "TRASH” on Amazon || “Growing Up Fundie" pod || The Humorous Humanist

Katılım Ağustos 2009
931 Takip Edilen1.1K Takipçiler
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Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.
Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.@SydneyDavisJrJr·
Turns out, my guardian Angel is a drunk middle aged woman wearing a cowgirl hat in downtown Nashville, offering strangers free hits off the giant doob she bought on the street for $10, insisting she doesn’t have COVID, it’s just too big to take back to her hotel room
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Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.
Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.@SydneyDavisJrJr·
Remember when we’d be in line at the grocery store with our moms, and the store was like “If you’re not afraid of Bat Boy, you should be.”
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Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.
Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.@SydneyDavisJrJr·
Idk if you guys know this, but there’s actually a 28th amendment to the US Constitution, and it ratifies the law that, upon petting someone’s dog, you’re required to ask it if it smells your doggy on you.
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Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.
Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.@SydneyDavisJrJr·
Rebellion in my teens and 20’s: Eyeliner. Hot Topic. Music with the F word. Using my phone under the covers. Doing my homework in the morning instead of the night before. Wasting all my money on Starbucks. Forever 21. Rebellion in my 30’s: Still calling it Twitter.
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Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.
Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.@SydneyDavisJrJr·
Interested in appearing on an episode of "Growing Up Fundie"? We welcome Christians, Atheists, and everyone in between. I promise you: your story, your experiences, and your beliefs are interesting. forms.gle/pCfgxMSMnXS1KG…
Sydney Davis Jr. Jr. tweet media
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Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.
Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.@SydneyDavisJrJr·
On this day, the first of July, in the 2023rd year of our lord, during my 31st trip around the sun, I tried to take a screenshot to show someone how my iphone screen was finally fixed.
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Sydney Davis Jr. Jr. retweetledi
Secular Rarity
Secular Rarity@SecularRarity·
5pm central time today myself and a wonderful group of knuckleheads will be hanging out with @SydneyDavisJrJr on her channel and chatting it up about religion 🤘🤘 come join us! There will be laughs, there will be tears, there will be heathenry! youtube.com/watch?v=akEOJz…
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Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.
Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.@SydneyDavisJrJr·
Finding out I need a mouth guard to protect myself from my own teeth-grinding at night doesn’t seem very Thirty Flirty and Thriving of me. Where was THIS part in all the rom coms???
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Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.
Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.@SydneyDavisJrJr·
YouTube be like: True Crime Host: “And what were your only daughter’s last words to you before she died?” Murdered Sorority Girl’s Mother: “She said… (stifles sob) she said to me-“ 🎶🎵🎶🎵WAYFAIR YOU’VE GOT JUST WHAT I NEED🎶🎵🎶🎵
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Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.
Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.@SydneyDavisJrJr·
It has come to my attention that the open mics here in Nashville have seen a recent and monumental uptick in “women who own birds” content from men, and to that I say: - You’re welcome for the free material - I’ll take my royalties via Venmo or CashApp
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Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.
Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.@SydneyDavisJrJr·
“Kerls erm breeeerrrrkerrrrn ernd erm ser LERRRRNSERRRRM” - Broken, by Seether
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Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.
Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.@SydneyDavisJrJr·
Boyfriend: *buys brand new 4K TV* My dumbass: “idk the picture quality seems the same as the old TV???” Boyfriend: “It’s probably better if you wear your glasses.”
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Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.
Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.@SydneyDavisJrJr·
My generation is so broke, we only know him as "Sherlock Rent"
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Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.
Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.@SydneyDavisJrJr·
I’m so pissed off about this new #Netflix password-sharing debacle, I’d cancel my membership right this very moment if I’d been the one paying for it all these years.
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Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.
Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.@SydneyDavisJrJr·
Between living with 3 parrots, 1 dog, and 1 human man, the first 4 hours of my day are spent politely but fervently begging one species to exist quieter, so that another species can sleep longer, before waking up cantankerously in search for food.
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Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.
Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.@SydneyDavisJrJr·
The moms of sassy teens on Netflix shows are starting to get WAYYY to close to the same age as me. Who do I send my complaint to about this????
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Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.
Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.@SydneyDavisJrJr·
Sometimes I think I would like being famous, and could totally handle the heat. Then I remember how I’m STILL pressed about the one time someone left a mild critique in my honesty box in 2007.
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Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.
Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.@SydneyDavisJrJr·
Name something supposedly casual that actually feels like a crime. I’ll go first: When I’m napping, and my dog is napping, but we aren’t napping together.
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