T. Cole Newton

Parenting years 1-3 is all about slowly moving all of your valuables to higher and higher shelves

read the room 😭😭

@GingerConstruct Ooh, lemme know how it turns out? That one’s a fave

@wingedisis @skooks I’d wager you’re more qualified than the person who does get the job will be

Senators Kyrsten Sinema and Rick Scott have introduced a bill to move from a twelve mile limit to a twenty four mile limit for policing offshore waters, and I for one am against it

@periodeye NOLA Craft Culture

A warm cocktail and cold weather go hand in hand 🤝 Celebrate the #holiday season with our December #CocktailOfTheMonth, For the Trees, by @TColeNewton, @TheUSBG President, owner of @twelvemilelimit and Author of "Cocktail Dive Bar." #EnjoyResponsibly instagram.com/p/CmcGZNqJLMd/…

Our annual NYE Heatwave! party will be held IN PERSON and ON NEW YEAR’S EVE this year! Oldies, twinkling lights, a champagne toast, Auld Lang Syne … all of it. Hope to see you there! #heatwave #nye2022 #andweloveyou

ok bud this one seems accurate

@duolingo @nsvl06 ARGH STOP ALL OF THE RECENT CHANGES HAVE BEEN TERRIBLE

@nsvl06 We removed the Audio Lesson tab, so we can make some room for some exciting future changes when it comes to reviewing long-form listening exercises. Stay tuned! You can still access our podcasts across major streaming services and podcast.duolingo.com

The only useful part of any language is trash talk. 💚 We’ve created a Fowl Language generator so you can cheer on or insult teams in other languages. ⚽ Check it out: fowllanguage.duolingo.com

Sometimes people ask my opinions about things thespiritsbusiness.com/2022/11/global…

I am grateful to the voters of this country for leaving us teetering on the brink of chaos instead of running full speed over the cliff

A Brief History of People Have Lost Their Sense of Humour 🧵

Seasoning 🧡 instagram.com/p/CkHTicgL7Lv/…

The head of one of Britain’s spy agencies just described the current inflection point in the Ukraine conflict as a “Sliding Doors moment,” and I just want to take a second to appreciate the surprising cultural staying power of a seemingly trivial Gwyneth Paltrow romcom from 1998.

spectral candy corn who's calling from inside my butt

Ugh, I’m still going to be writing 5782 on checks for like a month

@GingerConstruct “White anxiety fan-fic” 😅 perfect

My last post for the Avenue Pub! Thank you for the last amazing 35 years and please show the the people at Blue Oak and Rambler the love you’ve showed me. XOXO- Polly

@GingerConstruct I like the spangly flats to match the pattern of the dress, but those boots are 🥵