T.J.

I’m sure that I’m not Colorblind

@CuteAdorableCat I think my cat has a foot fetish. He likes to smell my feet, my dirty socks, my shoes... to be fair, my feet don't sweat so they don't really smell much either, but still.

When your cat smell your feet

NASA if they had the U.S. defence budget:

The ferocious beast has been captured! #Caturday

@sheilatebra I once had a woman make me go over every single item on a Sunday brunch in detail to make ABSOLUTELY SURE there was no gluten because she was a celiac and could die. Next time I went out to check on the buffet, I see the woman walk by with a plate heaping full of pasta salad.

Anonymous A woman made a full scene about her “severe, life-threatening” gluten allergy. Had me run to the kitchen 3 times. Sent her salad back because a crouton touched the rim. We sanitized, remade, reassured. We accommodated everything. An hour later, I ask if anyone wants dessert. She orders the tiramisu. I froze, "Ma'am, that's entirely sponge cake, it’s full of gluten!" She waves her hand. “Oh, a little’s fine. I’m just trying to reduce bloating.” I swear my chef's soul clocked out mid-shift. At that point, I just smiled and said, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, but since you declared a life-threatening allergy, it's a massive liability for the restaurant to serve you the tiramisu. Your safety is our top priority!' The look on her face was better than any tip.

There's a lion hiding under my bed 🙀 #Caturday

@Thebiglade All through lock down. Unless you count the mice that showed up every spring and fall.

Have you ever actually lived ALONE? No kids. No roommates. No boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse. No pets. Just you??

@oelma__ Antoinette. Toni for short.

@cuteonlyvibes Hope, butter, ass 😐

the first 3 words u see will define ur 2026 😭

@theamelia__ Sell bitcoin 2025. Hopefully that will be enough of a hint to buy it when it was worthless.

@catsareblessing How do I get this as a font?

How To Draw The Cat Alphabet

@fasc1nate I've actually made this once. The sweetness of the baked onion and saltiness of the peanut butter went well together. Reminded me of a bland Thai peanut sauce stir fry. A little garlic, chili paste, black pepper, and cilantro in the filling and it would have been pretty good.

During the Depression, onions were a common and easily grown and stored vegetable. So, they were readily available and, most importantly, free. Meanwhile, peanut butter was also inexpensive. So, the Bureau of Home Economics devised the recipe for peanut butter-stuffed onions as an easy way for American homemakers to feed their families. The recipe for this curious dish was published in many 1930s newspapers and magazines. It eventually found its way onto American dining tables as a healthy, tasty, simple, and low-cost meal that could be served any time of the day. The mishmash consisted of baked onions with peanut butter filling mixed with stale bread crumbs. These ingredients came together and created a distasteful and disliked dish that people only ate to fill their hungry stomachs.

@ShouldHaveCat I dunno but it would start with "Mister" and he would always be addressed as "Sir"

What would you name this cat?

@reveriekeona Insulated trays with holes in the bottom. The water will freeze from top to bottom forcing impurities out the holes in the bottom leaving clear ice. Normal ice cube trays freeze from the outside in forcing all impurities to the center.

How do they make the ice so *clear*?

Because I've had some neck and shoulder problems lately it's been a while since he had a sleep in my lap 😻 #Caturday

@AnthonyLaFauci That is how it has been pronounced in my head for at least the last 20 years.

I accidentally read the word "testicles" as if it were a Greek philosopher or hero and now I can't unhear it.

Cat People: this is for you, spot on.

@s8n Spotify: Enjoy the next 30 minutes ad-free! Me: Skips the first song that plays less than 10 seconds in. Spotify: Plays 4 ads.

I want to go here