Tab (90’s trend remix)

Y’all are really sleepin on how funny my dad is

Finally reading Slouching Towards Bethlehem and the very first essay is about my hometown and the subject lives on my ex bf’s old street?!!? #pointlesssynchronicity

The noise of my Mac starting up inches from my baby’s head didn’t wake him up, but me whispering “motherfucker” about it sure did 😅

I hope there’s another version of me somewhere baking pastries in a cottage who has never seen an iPhone or had to witness a world in which “slavery is bad” is apparently a hot take 🥴

yeah idk I’m just in a bad place rn (Tucson, AZ in July)

Men will say they don’t like to talk about their feelings and then wax poetic about Joey Chestnut

The pure, simple joy of figuring out how to accomplish one simple task while also keeping a baby alive cannot be overstated.

Oh SNL is gonna have a FIELD DAY with this!

I’d like to personally apologize to the kindle girlies that it took me so long to come around, but now that I’ve finished a book in complete darkness while my baby sleeps, I finally get it.

How your email finds me

The theme of #YouNetflix season 5 is that writers are all insufferable

When did we as society decide you have less than 24 hours to consume new media before spoilers are fair game!! Who okayed this!

James Tate heals all

Let it be known that the one that finally did the trick was Do You Hear the People Sing

When you’re rocking your baby to sleep and you’ve sung him 6 different songs and he’s still staring up at you like 👁️👄👁️

Crying my eyes out because I’m so proud of Alysa Lui’s figure skating comeback GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME

POV: You’ve just witnessed the biggest spider you’ve ever seen indoors

me watching this whole episode of the white lotus