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So many things finally hitting today. Thursday I was in shock, yesterday I was in isolation reading absolutely everything (and thank you all for the kind words) and today I feel the need to connect.
This show started because of a pandemic era Dungeons & Dragons campaign, where my longtime friend Bo and I would stay on for hours after everybody else had logged off and gone to bed. We didn’t talk all the time, so it was really refreshing to have this new way to connect with each other and stay in touch during those difficult weeks.
We talked about everything, and sometimes stayed on for full days without realizing it, laughing until we couldn’t keep our eyes open. It was like the Seinfeld episode when they pitch the show about nothing. This is it. This is good. We’re just talking, and we would watch this. Four years ago next week, Chris Hudson at Knotfest gave us the opportunity to post our first episode, and we had zero aspirations other than having fun with each other and talking about hardcore. Over the next few months, our lives were different, we were arm in arm, connected forever.
All of the episodes over the years where it was just the two of us always reminded me of those days, how special they were, and why it ultimately could have only been the two of us to do this. No rules, no stress, just letting you all inside of our minds and our friendship. We rarely hugged, we rarely said I love you, only towards the end did we drop our pride and call each other best friends, but we both knew every day.
Every Monday we logged on and recorded ads. 3 minutes of ads would often take over an hour just because of all the banter before, in between, and after (sorry Steven). That always reminded me of the D&D days as well. It was my favorite time of the week. When we got to talk, just for us.
More than anything, I just can’t believe I never get to see (or smell… my god he smelled good) him again. But I am so grateful that all of my best days with my best friend were recorded, for me, and for you all to see, forever. He was the best person, with the BIGGEST heart that I’ve ever known.
This Thursday we will be posting something that upon time of recording, we were terrified of, and instantly regretted. An intimate look into both of our lives that felt like too much access to us, and something we couldn’t take back after it was realized. In a window of manic productivity, I revisited it yesterday, expecting dread and agony, but instead was met with the comfort of just sitting with my friend again. I am now so grateful that it exists, and hope that you all bear through the pain and hear what he had to say. I love you Bo. That fourth hug is coming some day.
Love you @gothsconsin @harmsxway.
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