theresa

@PaddleWaddle ikr, probs were only following their producers' instructions, now their careers are destroyed

YAY OR NAY?? Does this colour look too old on me?? I kind of feel like a cougar in this dress

Scumbag weather forecast

Threw on a bikini and grabbed a towel but then I looked at the sky??????

They should auto-spray everyone with deodorant at the ticket gates. Holy Jesus it stinks on this train.

I could probably fix world hunger by abstaining from my weekly din tai fung feasts instagr.am/p/RMPMMvzc_w/

Why can't I have my cake and eat it too

Why can't the world be made of haloumi

I think I found my soulmate sandwich. BEST EVER #fattyfridays instagr.am/p/Q9EEOCzc0d/

Joining the gym is probably counter-productive

Going to the gym makes me feel like I have the right to eat more.

Shopping hangover.

@souksamrane cant tell if that's your bed hair or an attempt at gwai lo hair

19 years of being single has not prepared me for this OH MY GOD HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALP MEEEEE

We're flawed, because we want so much more. We're ruined, because we get these things, and wish for what we had

@souksamrane IT WAS MY INCREDIBLE LUCK, MY DISTINCT APPEARANCE AND MY PROFESSIONAL TROLLING SKILLZ OKAY.

@souksamrane I'M THE BEST AMIRITE AMIRITE

Heart palpitations; not sure if it's a result of a boy or the 4 cups of coffee I've had.

I don't know what I ever did to deserve somebody like you.