T̾e̾d̾’̾s̾ ̾O̾f̾ ̾B̾e̾v̾e̾r̾l̾y̾ ̾H̾i̾l̾l̾s̾

From Chef Carl Chodillia …Introducing the new Hot Ted Turnover…the traditional hot apple turnover but with an extra kick of ginger and cardamom!* *The new Hot Ted Turnover is a family dessert and is not referencing me rolling over and showing it …… Grow up. K?

This new restaurant in Beverly Hills “The Chinese Difference” owned by Alvin Sullivan specializes in …you ready?… hot dogs and roast beef sandwiches

I have officially purchased naming rights to the broadcast site of the Phil Hendrie Show. It is now known as Ted Bell Canyon overlooking the great city of Los Angeles… or some bullshit like that, I don’t know. All I know is I paid Hendrie big.

Saturday night I introduced myself to a man people told me was important. A Dr. Jim Sadler. I extended my hand to shake his. He looked at my hand for about three seconds, then looked at me, then went back to buttering a roll. I almost grabbed him and threw him out

I met this Dean Wheeler the other night, a guy Hendrie has on his show. He’s drinking …in MY place, right? My place. He had this Emeralda, there. Anyway, I introduce myself, he looks me up and down like I’m a bus boy and goes back to talking to this broad. Man I almost lost it

Great to have Phil Hendrie back in the LA area. And to say “Thanks Ted” for welcoming him back, Phil hasn’t been anywhere near @TedBeverlyHills. No way, he was getting two Double Doubles at In n Out Hamburger. Yea!👏🏼 👏🏼 Just measure up Phil and kick me right in my nut area

We’re welcoming Phil Hendrie back to Southern California with something I’ve never done before. Naming menu items after Phil Hendrie! Chicken and potato entrees. Phil Tots, French Fried Hendries, Chicken Phils, Roasted Hendrie, Phil Au Gratin. Whatever. It was Marcy’s idea

I’m Ted Bell and Valen-Ted’s Day came and went . I went ahead and did what everyone wanted me to do ….got into a diaper with a bow and arrow and walked around, said hello to people, went table to table, then went back in my office and wept.

Okay, that went over like a hairdryer in Death Valley. You know? Isn’t it hot in Death Valley.

My idea for promoting a meat, eating lifestyle for men who wanted to reclaim their manhood was a play on the name of the old show “Leave it to Beaver.” My slogan is “beef it to leave her” meaning up your intake of meat and tell your vegan girlfriend to grab an apple and get lost

Always fun to get trotted out on the Hendrie show. Only this time it was Bob Green, the guy with the restaurant hosting. You know Bob, the guy that likes to say he delivers his load of meat to me once a week?Why I’m even bringing this up is a mystery

Okay, be honest. Have you eaten at Ted’s of Beverly Hills and did you enjoy the food and if so what menu item(s) and if not, I guess, you know, what didn’t you like?

I want to apologize for the appearance of Dave Gagmount on the rooftop at Ted of Beverly Hills and his f*cked up quartets. Him breathing all over everybody going “aaahhh,” was an all time low in the history of Ted’s. If my father, Chick Bell, were here right now he’d kick my ASS!

Now remember on Ted-O-Ween at @TedBeverlyHills, if you’re not scared by me leaping out from the hallway near the front door, dressed as Dracula, screaming, with fangs, blood and gore dripping from my mouth…..if none of that scares you, you get a free steak dinner.🖕🏼👈🏼 sorry

I’m Ted Bell. Not Tex. Ted. K?

Look I can’t have some of these nuts coming in here tonight. So happy hour is buy one, get one free, drink them both and then get out. Thank you

How’s your summer going? How about coming into Ted’s of Beverly Hills and having a thick juicy Ted-Eye, bone-in, for only $29.99. And for dessert, how’s about a double scoop of Chocolate Ted (chip) with Whipped Ted (cream) a Cappu-Ted-O (cappuccino) and a slice of seven layer Ted

I apologize for my intemperate and offensive language in my last tweet or whatever they call these things now. I’m beyond caring. But my wife Marcy told me that I had a mouth on me that, were I not a man, wouldn’t pass a sewer inspection. The woman I love said that. Wow.

At Ted’s of Beverly Hill, once we get through these holidays we now look ahead ………to the summer! The patio’ll be open, the fire pit on and, forgive me for saying this, but it’s like you just passed about ten pounds of foul, intestinal gas and now thank Christ, you’re free!

I was on the Hendrie show a year ago apologizing for slandering Todd Toddelby and his restaurant “The Horn” by saying the food there caused extreme intestinal upset. I was angry because Toddelby called me a liar on X after I said truthfully that OJ phoned me from the Bronco