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TED

@TedsReal

Here to make you laugh. Parody account, not affiliated with Ted the movie.

Katılım Haziran 2012
0 Takip Edilen44K Takipçiler
TED
TED@TedsReal·
This kid has life figured out!
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TED
TED@TedsReal·
TED is BACK!
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TED
TED@TedsReal·
there’s nothing scarier than the split second where you lose your balance in the shower and think “oh god they’re going to find me naked”
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TED
TED@TedsReal·
I heard you're a player. Nice to meet you, I'm the coach.
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TED
TED@TedsReal·
I need a job that pays at least 10,000 dollars an hour..
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TED@TedsReal·
I wish I had speakers built inside my shower.
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TED
TED@TedsReal·
"K." Well potassium to you too, motherfucker.
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TED
TED@TedsReal·
If you can say these 4 words fast without getting tongue tied, you're a genius: 1: Eye 2: Yam 3: Stew 4: Peed
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TED
TED@TedsReal·
Top Five Rappers: 1. Eminem, 2. Slim Shady, 3. Marshall Mathers, 4. B Rabbit, 5. The white guy from D-12.
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TED
TED@TedsReal·
Just because two people fight doesn’t mean they don’t love each other, and just because two people don’t fight, doesn’t mean they do.
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TED
TED@TedsReal·
Every night, it's an endless battle between sleep and the internet.
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TED
TED@TedsReal·
If you watch Titanic backwards, it's a heart warming tale of a ship that jumps out of the water and saves lots of drowning people.
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TED
TED@TedsReal·
things that are enjoyable: • showers things that are not enjoyable: • getting in the shower • getting out of the shower
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TED
TED@TedsReal·
Take a second look at these logo fails, I'm laughing so hard goo.gl/YsG9rc - sp
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TED
TED@TedsReal·
Somedays, I wish I had more middle fingers.
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TED
TED@TedsReal·
I believe in second chances, I just don't think everyone deserves them...
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TED
TED@TedsReal·
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years. Lesson learned.
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TED
TED@TedsReal·
I was going to do that, but then you told me to.
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TED
TED@TedsReal·
Of course my clothes are on the floor. That is where I hang them.
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TED
TED@TedsReal·
Dear food: Stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.
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