Huff

🎶Huff the magic dragon Lived on the coast And tweeted horny on his main At risk of the group chat's roast All of funny twitter Loved that rascal Huff And gave him likes and retweets And even DM'd him stuff🎶

I got reverse pick pocketed again but it was actually something cool this time? What is going on? Who is putting these things in my coat?

Just yelled at some pig and it was not cathartic at all, like I might even have made myself more mad

Omw home from work and I heard some high schoolers talking about The Chicks and Fleetwood Mac, a conversation made extra special as they are recent discoveries for them, a small joy on an overcrowded bus :)

Drake is proof you don't even have to be talented for people to not care you're a pedophile

@mayaisfiya And also me

@mayaisfiya What if he's bi 👀

just realized that my crush who i just thought was comfortable with his masculinity is actually probably gay :/

Me af rn

We need to make headphones worse, sorry "tech bros" but one volume should not be that loud

@im_chilling69 That's right

Guy Fridge

They literally don't have an army can they at least have some swag

I know Japan did some bad shit, to be sure, but did we have to deswag their flag like that?

LLMs make me so violent I'm gonna start pretending propaganda of the deed works

The pina colada is proof that anything can taste good if you're brave enough, even the detestable coconut

On behalf of their client, Zara Sultana, Bindmans Media and Information Law Practise Group requires that I publish the following statement on X, and that such statement must be clearly visible and pinned to my profile for a continuous period of no less than 24 hours: “On 30 March 2026, I published a post on my X account addressed to Zarah Sultana in which I stated that she encourages and incites violence and is friends with terrorists. Those statements are false. I was wrong and offer my sincere apologies to Ms Sultana for the harm and distress caused to her.” It is my very great pleasure to do this, and I reiterate my sincere and repeated offer to meet with Miss Zara Sultana in person to resolve our differences.

ah crap our epic vet ex-blackwater socialist candidate has nazi tattoos

@ceramicdeer Lookin soooo good n cute

@ThaMagicDragon ADD IT TO THE STACK

if you’re cute you’re allowed to dress like someone’s mom circa 1985 at work. you might even get three compliments

@excesstential You're welcome, without me they'd be nothing

@ThaMagicDragon thank you for them 🍁

Canada, please send aid to my country in the form of a new Alvvays album.

Just walked by a dentist on my way home, Dr Jordan Pettigrew, you really gotta type every letter of that mfs name before he comes up huh