Dinkyauto

If you need to spank your shit, please refer to it as “I need to go call Grandma”

@don___cheadle @gene_sheckk

Friday night agenda: 1- watch sabers win 2- get faded w @gene_sheckk and @ThatBoyLaw_ 3- eat an XL 🍕 pie 4- watch TWolves win 5- get more faded 6- drink copious amounts of Diet Pepsi 7- play pool

@MDambrosio22 @BuffaloSabres @spittinchiclets @BizNasty2point0 @stoolpresidente @NHLBruins At the end of the day GG’s. Wish the best for you. It was always Buffalo

Oh nooo where are all my @BuffaloSabres fans tonight! @spittinchiclets @BizNasty2point0 @stoolpresidente Go @NHLBruins

@BuffaloBills @BowryJude @BCFootball Brandon Beane is a Rothschild funded Mossad agent tasked at ruining the Bills hopes of ever seeing a Super Bowl

Your newest Bill... JUDE BOWRY. @BowryJude x @BCFootball

I’m an absolute SUCKER for videos of nothing but the crowd noise… No commentary, no music, nothing but the crowd. A good crowd pop brings chills down my spine & water in my eyes… This one from Buffalo tonight is an all-timer. Wow.

@MDambrosio22 @BillsMafia5150 @barstoolsports Mark, you’re not just retarded, you’re mad retarded. See you Tuesday you half eaten chunk of salami

@BillsMafia5150 @ThatBoyLaw_ @barstoolsports First come back buddy!? Swayman stoned you guys for the first 2.5 periods! You ain’t winning the series so enjoy your Stanley cup win tonight and we will talk again in 15 years!

IT’S A MAD HOUSE IN BUFFALO THREE GOALS IN THE THIRD FOR THE SABRES

@MDambrosio22 @barstoolsports Might be the second most retarded man in Boston behind Vrabel

@barstoolsports Buffalo is soft as hell! Glad you win game 1 at home act like you have been there! Oh wait…..

how life be moving since the sabres made the playoffs

@fronk_seravalli Cancel the whore and keep the Wiggles

Looks like #Sabrehood fans will have to wait a little bit longer to end that playoff drought. The KeyBank Center has concerts booked on the first two days of the playoffs, per their website. The NHL is weighing all options.

new york niggas when work by asap ferg come on

Took my (frigid) wife to see Wuthering Heights tonight. Car ride to the theater she put on the Hamilton soundtrack and scrolled through Pinterest the entire time ignoring me. I think I chipped a tooth from clenching my teeth. Walk into the theater lobby and it’s a sea of screaming black teenagers and obese guatemalan women babbling into speakerphone. I buy her some garbage to eat and we go into the theater. Before we sit down she accidentally (?) spills her extra large diet Dr. Pepper on my seat, but the theater is full so I just sit in it. My ass is immediately soaked but I don’t care I just don’t want to move my body anymore I just don’t want my body to function. The guatemalan women are in the theater and they and my wife are all staring at their phones, giving the room a sickly, ambient glow that makes my eyes water and my stomach turn. The movie starts and I mentally check out, thinking of the chubby teenage girl at the concession counter and how thrilling it would be to kidnap her. I let my mind drift away but my wife snaps me out of this fantasy by hacking loudly trying to get a stuck popcorn kernel out of her throat. The guatemalan women sense distress and start nervously gibbering in their gutterspeak. I excuse myself to the bathroom but instead sneak into some kind of cartoon called Goat. I sit in the back and sob softly until a black teenager notices me and screams “ayo dis gay nigga crine!” and the rest of them start jeering and screaming at me so I rush out. I lock eyes with the chubby teenage girl in the lobby and she looks sad and I imagine she’d be okay with me kidnapping her but I just go back and sit next to my wife in the giant puddle of diet Dr. Pepper. The movie finishes. We leave. Wife immediately puts Hamilton soundtrack back on and scrolls Pinterest. We won’t be discussing the film. No, we won’t be discussing anything. Am I Heathcliff? Am I myself? Am I a person? Am I sure I can keep doing this for one second longer? Tomorrow is Friday, but in reality, everyday is Monday.

Pervert alert. @RepWeiner is back on twitter. All girls under the age of 18, block him immediately.

@AsapPuka can you Venmo me $200 please.

Tonight will be my most emotional call to grandma yet

RAY DAVIS TD. CALLED THAT SHIT. Happy fucking birthday Ray Ray #bills

@AndersPicks Bless me king. I cannot afford your subscription working at the auto shop.

Feeling a Free Card today 5 Plays for us in 3 different sports What do we think?👀

@BuffaloBills @SNICKERS @raydavis Ray Davis TD incoming 🔒

It's Ray's day! 🥳 @SNICKERS | @raydavis

@AdamSchefter @bepryor Just have him crank his hog with his left hand to get it loose for Sunday.

More about the fracture in Aaron Rodgers’ left wrist and his status for Sunday, via @bepryor: espn.com/nfl/story/_/id…

Just called grandma, she’s doing very well.

@AndersPicks did you call Grandma today?