Sarah Klem

Sometimes being right is all a bitch's got to hold on to.

Do I feel like trash today after that Eagles' loss. Of course. Did this make me feel oodles better. Absolutely.

They way I am like, I have been crazy for a guy but … wait, no. This sh*t is crazy and I have never been this.

Yup. Super glad I’m not watching.

It is officially the end of days — Joe Buck just said something nice about the Eagles. Get right with your god.

Wait! I like this one better.

CEO of Mattel watching Ben Shapiro buy a bunch of Barbie dolls just so he can set them on fire.

@newsethwilliams Dr. Hozak at Rothman did my hip a few years back. He is the best.

Years of Broad Street Run, Triathlons, Burpees, Hurdles and Basketball, may have finally caught up to me. The X-Rays came back and I am officially old! 🤣I need a recommendation for an Orthopedic Surgeon with hip specialization. Suggestions????

Do I know anyone who does the NYTimes mini crossword? I wanna brag that I finished it in under 2 minutes this morning but I don’t even know if that is good.

How is Threads not trending? Also, you can find me there now. I'm also "on" Spoutible, but yeah, look for me on Threads. Same name. Same bio.

The son of my great uncle’s (who died 33 years before I was born) best friend found me and text me to see if my family had any photos he could use to surprise his dad. So, if they tell you they didn’t have a way to reach you, they are lying.

“I just can’t bring myself to vote for Hillary” - someone with no rights by 2025.

The album of the century.

Oh my god I just threw up in my mouth.

Pete is the perfect example of why you should always marry the dork.

I want that omelette #TheBear

At some point, wouldn’t you call the fridge guy yourself?

You know that scene in Steal Magnolias where Ouiser talks about how she never reads because if the book is any good, they will turn it into a movie? That is how I feel about podcasts. If they are really good, HBO will turn it into a show or Netflix a documentary.

Today, Twitter told me I was a spam account. It seems as though I am not the only one. Sorry for spamming you all with my likes and drunk comments about TV shows.

Possibly? Who is more insane than us?

I need these in my life. And by life I mean pantry.