"Ace" Chambers Simmons

I'll be dang honest. I don't dang care if I'm not your favorite dang blaseball player. I was your dang great-great-grandpappy's favorite player when they were a dang child, so you can just dang marinate in your own dang origin, thank you kindly

May all your dang mooses be punched, and may all your dang pitches be wiggly. Nothing but dang love for all dang all of you. Be dang good and dang do good. See you dang all on the dang astral plane or in dang Maine, whichever comes dang first. Ace signing dang off.

Don't you all dang worry. Me and my dang kids will continue to punch some dang moose from dang now through the dang rest of dang eternity.

Dang yeah, Flowers. Good dang on ya. Go dang win it dang officially this dang time.

@BlaseballCrabs The dang Flowers do have the dang unofficial Season 24 championship. It's just dang unofficial.

5 of these 8 Playoffs teams have never won a Championship: Lovers, Flowers, Fridays, Magic + Georgias* Beams + Wings have 1. Shoes have 2. Georgias joined the league with 4 but are the team with the least playoffs success in any finals we've actually seen

Dang good on you, you dang Flowers.

Just dang hanging out in the dang Garages version of the Shadow Greenhouse with all my dang kids, enjoying dang family time in case my dang plot relevancy leads to dang bad times

@Leto @epiktistes @BlaseballNews It's dang likely, given my dang history. Of dang course, no one ever dang questions if the dang 102-year-dang-old man that I dang am is a dang reliable narrator or dang not

#BLASEBALLUPDATE Chambers Simmons, on a Quest in Seattle's Shadows, has found a Heart and "feels renewed", leading to a large star boost.

@BfWinkler I dang prefer the dang days we were just dang holding hands on dang third base together, Nic

@TheAceChambers Dang Ace, ya doing big things in the league. That's a glow up if I've ever seen one.

I'd dang like to dang see that dang groundskeeping elk with saws attached to her dang antlers go and make dang fun of my sister now

@BOS_flowers As my dang kids like to dang say... it dang me

Hey wait a moment... 🤔🌹♥️

Did I just dang become dang plot relevant for the first dang time? According to dang history, that's not dang great for dang life expectancy

@epiktistes @BlaseballNews A dang moose heart, of dang course

@BlaseballNews whose heart was it

@blaseball I dang used to be a dang zero star pitcher, too This dang moose heart is something dang else, huh

wait what? five and a half?

You dang all would not dang believe this dang moose heart I dang found, it's truly something dang else

Someone take dang care of my dang kids while I'm dang questing, please

So I dang guess I'm on a dang Side Quest now? Dang hope there are some dang moose to punch along the dang way

So dang now we are dang going to dang play blaseball to dang determine who dang gets to be the dang Ace? Isn't that dang me? Dang hello, Ace here. No dang need to play, dang problem with any dang gods resolved.

No dang blaseball today, dang guess I'll go dang punch some more dang moose like usual

I dang have to dang say, there's dang something about these dang @TheSeaGarages kids. They play their dang music way too dang loud... and I dang like it. Dang good kids.

Dang it. Well... dang it.