Barney Stinson

@EthanCripps my name is Barney Stinson

#ImThePersonWho has had sex more than the average person will in their lifetime.

#ImThePersonWho lives the life you wish you had.

People need to stop asking me for shoutouts, your not getting one unless you blow me or send me nudes. So guys are fucked #EndOfStory

@VerucaJames do it and take a picture

@MySexBangz I'm sure you can figure it out.

Just bought two 10.1oz bottles of lube... This should last me at least a week

#WaysToIrritateMe don't put out.

#WaysToIrritateMe cock block

#ThreeWords my big dick

#ThreeWords in your ass

#ThreeWords suck my dick

Have you ever noticed even ugly chicks look kind of hot with a load on their face. #PornStyle

Any of my followers played the rodeo? Next time you're having sex, tell them "your mother was better" and see how long you can stay inside.

Sorry I haven't been tweeting lately guys. This chick has been stalking me so I'm to busy dodging her.

@GICHILD1 you didn't follow the new number one rule of the browser code, follow back.

#WhatReallyTurnsMeOn a subservient woman, and willing to do anything for me.

@JoVRiet there's a tweet I put up, retweet if you do or favorite if you don't.

#DumpHisAssIf. He has a tiny dick, in the mean time the barnicles is here for you!

#WhatTurnsMeOff hairy chicks. That shit belongs on your head and no where else. Buy a razor!