CalCentel

JUST IN: Cal HC Tosh Lupoi has reportedly slain the mythical serpent Jörmungandr off the coast of Norway

sources tell me hubert davis is stable. please god

Cal

@wokemobfootball Allegedly

Bro does not know quaffle Potter played in 9 of 13 games, and went 7-2 overall. Without Harry, Gryffindor’s a .500 team and the only reason they were even that good was because Potter’s backup was Ginevra Molly Weasley, a future Hollyhead Harpies Legend #StephenASmithofQuidditch

@golDonbear "don in lecture on a random thursday afternoon" might be top 3 posters OAT

Harry Potter canonically played 9 quidditch games in six whole years of school #TheBoyWhoLoadManaged #PandemicPotter

@WalkingRuiz Jaydn unblock us we just wanna talk

Hezekiah Masses and Jaydn Ott at Cal’s Pro Day … Alternate Universe?

Buckle up, Arizona State has Mark Madsen as a top candidate and are gathering resources to offer him their head coaching spot, per sources.

Duke Football be sure to send those "thank you daddy" emails to philanthropy@calcentel.com

I tried to warn y'all. College football is woke now. We will boil Barstool soon Alhamdulillah

@hasanthehun Get @golDonbear on the stream unc

american football is a strange sport

@ToshingMyLupoi im horny as fuckkkkkkkk 💦

Tosh said “Trump” out loud there might just be a riot here in Dwinelle rn

Final from Charlotte.

@luccamazzie11 Yikes!

Just spoke to ESPN bracketologist Joe Lunardi, who told me Stanford has the 38th best resume in the country, but is a better team than Auburn (37th). However, it’s going to take two wins in the ACC tournament to make it barring an unlikely scenario where Stanford needs just one.

Because she’s signing with Cal Football #centelhaditfirst #wetbeefspackwatch

@PuntandRally @JoshPateCFB 💀

Future commissioner @JoshPateCFB wants a new list of the top CFB accounts to follow for each team & I'm happy to oblige. Don't agree with an entry, tell me where I missed the mark. puntandrally.com/toptwitterfoll…

Tosh Lupoi raided Cal Chancellor Rich Lyons' base on Clash of Clans and the two are "no longer on speaking terms", sources report to CalCentel

@AdamSchefter Nothing Furdies love more than retiring early

ESPN sources: Bears Pro Bowl center Drew Dalman has informed the team that he is retiring from the NFL at age 27. Dalman left Stanford in 2021, and after four seasons in Atlanta and one in Chicago, he has made the sudden and surprising decision to retire.

and when stanford wins nationals then what

@SMUBasketball @DriveSewell Turkey is calling baby bro

Final. @DriveSewell

Alright, real talk, we're actually a publication channel. No more games. calcentel.com Go now. And if you still want porn, you can still go to calcentel.com/porn you sick fucks.

Rex Volcano is "currently in possession" of the Ark of the Covenant, CalCentel can confirm. His motives are unknown.