How did a squirrel in a human suit give birth to human children? The details don't matter. What matters is that I love my family. And I'm scared to death they'll find out...
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The Cleave
112 posts
The Cleave
@TheCleaveLife
A satirical mommy blog from Caitlin Barlow and Kathryn Renée Thomas of TEACHERS on TV Land.
Katılım Temmuz 2021
127 Takip Edilen33 Takipçiler
“Every year after Herbie McBlaze delivers mommy’s presents, our family gathers around the TV and we watch old episodes of Ewoks.”
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#thecleave #thecleavelife #420 #weedmom #weedmommy #happy420 #satire #momcomedy #satiricalmom #funnymom #momhumor #funnyparent #parentsatire
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Sure, Eliza revolutionized how urban centers could provide support to destitute children, but just think about how much more she could have accomplished if Facetune had been invented in 1880.
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#womenshistorymonth #internationalwomensday #americanwomen #womenshistory
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...and Freak Nasty Patrick sends his love from Philly!
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#thecleave #thecleavelife #irishfamily #irish #stpattysday #stpatricksday #irishmom #satire #luckoftheirish #familysatire #irishsatire #momcomedy #satiricalmom #dadcomedy #irishdad #irishparent #satiricaldad #funnymom
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"I'd like to apologize to my wife, Chilli," Bandit said through tears. "All her earnings from working airport security went to my habit, and what did I give her in return? An irreplicable model of energetic parenting that led our daughters to believe that Mum was way less fun."
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"It took hitting rock bottom to finally find the strength to forgive myself. Now it's up to my children to decide if they can ever forgive me for sending them to the Y instead of the cool swim camp."
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#thecleave #thecleavelife #satire #satiricalmom #satiricalparent #momfail
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I should really read that..." stated the woman before turning on The Real Housewives instead and falling into the deep slumber of the un-oppressed.
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#thecleave #thecleavelife #whitefragility #blackhistorymonth #momcomedy #antiracist #crt #criticalracetheory #whiteprivilege
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"February must stop pushing its woke agenda," DeSantis added. "Frankly, it's just making the other months feel bad about themselves. July was in tears the other day. TEARS."
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After we have a snack, we talk about mass shootings, and then move on to going potty. You know, normal preschool stuff.
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#thecleave #thecleavelife #stoptheviolence #momsdemandaction #enough #gunreformnow #commonsensegunlaws #mom #mommy #momlife #parentlife #gunlawssavelives
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Plus some of our favorite off-color jokes comparing your anatomy to the turkey's that will make your family super uncomfortable.
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#thecleave #thecleavelife #thanksgiving #thanksgivingmomtips #thanksgivingparentingtips #satire #funnymom #satiricalmom #momhumpr #birthhumor
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Thank you so much for the love and support we've received from The Cleave community! We look forward to another year of poop jokes, pee jokes and eviscerating the patriarchy! Please enjoy some of our favorite posts from this year. Xo, Caitlin & Katie
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We recommend this gorgeous, artisanally crafted Object Permanence Box to inflict short-term memory loss. Plus it’s BPA free!
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#thecleave #thecleavelife #funnymom #momsatire #momcomedy #momhumor #parenthumor #vote #midterms #midterms2022 #voteblue #votebluetosaveamerica
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Enjoy your last time being able to vote before you become Oftrump, Ofdesantis, or Oftaylorgreene!
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#thecleave #thecleavelife #vote #satire #funnymom #momcomedy #momhumor #satiricalmom #feministsatire #feministcomedy #feministhumor #reproductiverights #roevember #handmaidstale
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