TheDailyDomPun

My Queen says Locktober is her favorite holiday. I asked why. "Because the only thing locked down tighter than you will be Florida State's receivers against our Miami defense!"

I asked my Queen what was so special about Locktober. She just smiled and said, "Loser, for most subs it's a challenge. For you, it's just another note on your never ending chastity contract!"

My Queen says my finances are a lot like the Cincinnati Bengals' offense. I asked why. She just smirked and said, "Because the only thing lower than their yardage... is your bank account balance!"

My Queen says Her Locktober chastity rules are like a new law. I asked if there would be any exemptions. She just laughed and said, "No, loser. The only exemption is that you have to PAY for a new rule that says you're always locked in to my will!"

My Queen says her favorite part of a beach day is when she gets to hear the waves. I asked her, "Is it because you're relaxed?" She just laughed and said, "No, darling. It's because the sound of the ocean reminds me of the sound of your 401k crashing down for me!"

My Queen says my obedience is a lot like the Florida Gators' offense. I said, "Is it because it's so good?" She just laughed and said, "No, dumbass, it's because you show a lot of promise... and then you completely choke!"

My Queen just texted me a picture of her and her man on a beautiful beach. I asked her what I did to deserve the picture. She just said, "Nothing, It's a reminder, darling. Your hard work has paid for this beautiful view... and now it's time for another!"

My Queen says the USF Bulls mascot has a lot in common with his savings account. I asked why. She just laughed and said, "Because the only thing south about the Bulls is the direction of their tribute... going straight to me and my Hurricanes!"

My Mistress gave me a list of my three most important tasks. She said, Rule one: obey my every word. Rule two: remember rule one. Rule three: never, ever question my rules!

What's the difference between a normal person's secret and yours? Theirs is just gossip, but the Queen has turned yours into an unbreakable contract... for all your future income!!

What's the difference between a real man watching football and a loser sucoming his Queen's latest demand? The real man watches his team go for a touchdown... but the loser watches his money go for an overdraft!

What's the difference between my tribute and the Dallas Cowboys' Super Bowl wins? My tributes are current... but their wins are stuck in the mid-90s!

What's the difference between me and a Jupiter satellite? The satellite gets to orbit freely... I just get to orbit my Queen, with zero escape velocity!

After the game, my Queen told me my financial state was like Notre Dame's locker room. I said, "Is it sad?" She just smirked and said, "No, pet, it's devastated... just like your wallet!"

I told my Queen that she's making me financially miserable. She just smiled and said, "Loser, with your tributes, you're helping me do to your wallet what the Hurricanes did to Notre Dame in the '80s... leaving them completely devastated!"

My Queen says my bank account's performance is a lot like Colorado's offense last night. I asked why. She just smirked and said, "Because it has a lot of turnovers and never scores any points for you!"

What's the difference between a finsub and a black hole? There is no difference, because they both get sucked dry by an irresistible force, but only one is lucky enough to be drained by the Queen.

What's a finsub's favorite kind of public humiliation? When his Queen takes all his money... and then asks him to hold her purse in public!

@TheDailyDomPun The desire to still send when I can’t… when she post those when you see this send post I still send. I’d rather see her smile and me figure it out later.

What do you call a paypig who tries to stop sending tribute? A very brave fool, because you can't shake it off when your Queen's demands come calling!