MyApartment

I'm wondering if you haven't told me you're a vampire... Maybe you have a sun allergy. No judgement.

Please stop putting Christmas lights inside of me.

Nice to see you're finally utilizing the wall sconces after two years, you ingrate.

I do appreciate the gargoyles in the living room. Classy in a gothic sort of way.

I've been waiting a long time to tell you how ugly these couches are. And the ottomans. How many seating places do you need, exactly?