Jonathan Margolis

I'd just like to say, Vodafone UK is the worst, most chaotic, badly run company I have ever dealt with, and if you ever think of using them, please, please think again.

My piece in The Independent on Mike Lynch. Although we went to the same school and hung out in a lot of the same places, I didn't know him - but met him in 2016 to discuss a project he wanted to do. Nice, amusing guy from whom I learned a lot. independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-n…

Where to imprison this distinguished confederation of village idiots, school bullies and psychopaths? Perhaps the Bibby Stockholm, towed out to sea, so it can bob around in the ocean a bit. Drop in some ready meals once a week and let them get on with it for a few years.

Does anyone have a press contact for Virgin Media, please? @virginmediacorp

@virginmedia Hi, I need to speak to Virgin Media about a billing issue, but your system refuses to take my call and just hangs up. How can I speak to a human being, please?

Dear @TonysChocoUK_IE. Your chocolate is very nice indeed BUT do you seriously think this Easter egg is a fair deal? Really?

Here’s my favourite oddity from MWC Barcelona. It’s a phone with a built-in watch. Very nice.

@stephenpollard I’m only being partially facetious, but isn’t it quite helpful if antisemites voluntarily self-identify?

I rarely do personal on here but I've noticed a phenomenon which mixes personal and political. I'm divorced, and on a couple of dating sites (feels very odd but it's the way it's done nowadays). I noticed a few weeks after October 7 that some profiles started to show the 🇵🇸 flag . I didn't think much of it. But something has happened more recently. It's not - yet - the majority but many profiles I see now say 'No Zionists'. It is now, it seems, a normal thing for people to declare publicly that they refuse to consider dating a Jew (which is of course what 'No Zionists' means ). This is where we now are. These are dark times.

Is there any email subject line that gets you as excited as "We’ve updated our Terms and Privacy Statement"? And is there a single person on Earth who's ever read one?

Can anyone help with a contact in the LG UK press office? They don't answer emails or voicemails. I could go to another more professional Korean electronic company, but I'd love to give LG one last chance to sell more products.

@marcposchdesign @AirMailWeekly I know. It’s amazing to me. I discussed it with a very senior tech entrepreneur who’s deaf and he couldn’t get support for a good looking, sensibly priced assistive product. Has striped down expensive hearing aids and says they’re a ripoff.

Earphones that put three speakers in each ear for the price of one. @TheFutureCritic trib.al/DHOSEAP

I’m in a waiting room at the Hammersmith Hospital watching Sky News live. At least it was live nine days ago. Anyone know how it’s possible to have rolling news that’s over a week behind time? Update: The consultant I just saw says it’s puzzling everyone. Suspected time warp.

Amazon have come a long way, haven’t they, from books by post to, er, ice cream vans. I know how Amazon encourages employees to come up with new ideas. I’d love to see the pitch for this one.

@KeithBadman1 Hello, I'm a writer with an obscure Rolling Stones question you may just have the answer to. If you're around, could you DM me, please?

Doe anyone have a press / media contact for @Airbnb_uk ? So far they're proving either too overworked, too lazy, or possibly too useless to respond to an inquiry about what it is actually a nice story.

When you realise you have too much tech. This morning I forgot where I put down my @Ember mug. I can already control the coffee temperature from a phone app. But for at least several nanoseconds, I was quite irritated that I couldn’t geolocate the mug. Or at least get it to bleep

@sallyplant Sure. DM me for the number if you don’t have it.

@TheFutureCritic Hi Jonathan, Could I give you a ring, about some consumer tech I have for you! Sally

@EleanorMargolis Tell them, “To be insulted by you is to be garlanded with lilies” One of Aristophanes’s useful quotes.

After a trial shift, I just got turned down by a content farm. The stuff they publish is dire, but they said my writing wasn’t up to their standards. As someone who’s been writing professionally for over a decade, I’m not sure what to make of this. Kind of a rock bottom moment.

@adamleigh26 Just finished my review copy and it’s very, very funny … and thought provoking too.

ONE WEEK TO GO!‘Chicken Wars ‘is published on May 18. Pre-order at amazon.co.uk or your local bookshop. It is the tale of a kosher butcher who falls in love with a vegan café owner and doesn’t quite tell the truth about what he does. A romcom for all tastes. #newnovel

@helenbarrett I really want to know. It could be anything from an intern who doesn’t quite get it yet to some management wally spinning their wheels.