The Light Media

Newton's Third Law of Emotion: For every male action, there is a female overreaction.

Guys, prepare yourself for the most annoying, depressing holiday where every single girl will be begging for attention.

Everyone's middle name should be, motherfuckin ...try it. Doesn't it sound so great?

I'm not saying you're easy, but when I look up something to do in your town it gives me your address.

If you take your girl back after she cheats on you, you're a little bitch.

I wonder if your mom knows you're a whore.

Bros don't let bros date hoes...

I don't need a reason to do stupid things, just a place.

There's three things you never interrupt with me.. My naps, sex, and a kill streak on Call of Duty.

I could sit in front of my TV playing Xbox all day and consider it a really progressive day.

Instead of cashiers saying "here's your receipt" they should say "will you throw this away for me?"

Ladies, the next time a guy has the courage to talk to you, remember he's not wearing makeup. Also, remember what you look like without it.

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Obesity doesn't run in the family...the main problem is nobody runs in the family.

I keep a lot of shit to myself because in reality nobody really gives a fuck.

Not shaving until you absolutely have to.

Marriage: Betting someone half your stuff that you'll love them forever.

Those naturally beautiful girls who don't need make-up to look good.. >

If you take everything I say literally, you are going to absolutely hate me.

Girls, if we are actually spending our time and energy into talking to you or seeing you. We're interested, and feel really special.