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@TheLostBride

Artist. "...quintessentially British awkwardness.." - Danny Robins "I never said you could use that quote" - Danny Robins

Katılım Ocak 2009
2.5K Takip Edilen9.6K Takipçiler
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Jenks
Jenks@TheLostBride·
I haven't told a story on here for awhile, so let me tell you about the time my old boss, Jim, almost killed us all in a fire. It's not a funny story, it's long, doesn't really go anywhere, and at some point it just stops. So anyway, our shop was housed in a very old building.
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Jenks
Jenks@TheLostBride·
@Conmom222 I know, right! I might put that frame inside another frame, and then show up at their next general meeting.
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Jenks@TheLostBride·
My local art society unfollowed me on instagram. I am raging.
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Jenks@TheLostBride·
What's in the bag? I'm going to guess actual human teeth.
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Jenks@TheLostBride·
Does it get up to mischief at night? Yes, I think it eats dreams and shits nightmares into your mouth while you're sleeping. I can't tell if rats have tried to eat this thing, or if this damage is just a natural effect of years of priests throwing holy water at it.
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Jenks
Jenks@TheLostBride·
I purchased a bag of assorted toys from an old man at the market awhile back, and when I got home, found this absolute horror inside. The Gnome in your home. Does it keep an eye on your kids? Sure, it likes watching all the children in the neighbourhood. For Santa? Nope.
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Jenks
Jenks@TheLostBride·
One time, a guy was supposed to pick up a lot of toys and I spent the whole day waiting. Finally there's a knock at the door, two guys, unbeknownst to me, Jehovah's Witnesses, I have a brontosaurus in one hand, a t-rex in the other, and I say, "Are you here about the dinosaurs?"
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Jenks@TheLostBride·
Unless I'm selling potions, what the fuck are we meeting at midnight for? What about my listing suggested I'd prefer it if we did this extremely high-stakes, low reward cash exchange involving an absolute stranger at my house, during the witching hour?
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Jenks@TheLostBride·
I'm trying to sell some unwanted items on facebook marketplace, and I've never known stress like it. I feel like each message is another insane demand, issued during some sort of hostage situation, where the hostage is my time. I've been ghosted more times than Derek Acorah.
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Jenks@TheLostBride·
@UncannyBlingy Thank you Blingy, you're very kind. I'm in a wild foraging fb group, and we often say, everything's edible, but is it survivable?
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Blingy
Blingy@UncannyBlingy·
@TheLostBride I don't think she'll like it either. She'll love it 🥹 it's incredible! Nearly put it's inedible, but i can't tell from a photo? 🐹
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Jenks
Jenks@TheLostBride·
I'm currently working on another portrait, and I can feel it slipping away from me. She's not going to like it. Art is, like, really, really hard.
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Jenks@TheLostBride·
@feebee_69 Thank you, Fi, much appreciated.
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sam
sam@jollygoodthen·
@TheLostBride I followed the trail of some old cabbage tweets x.com/TheLostBride/s…. Chompsky doesn't eat cabbage youtube.com/watch?v=7Kf3CA… and I don't have enough for a pet portrait but if I did you would be my choice to further immortalise him.
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YouTube
Jenks@TheLostBride

Trigger warning: death, family, brassicas. I might get into family trouble with this, but when my mother died, she had a cabbage on the top of her coffin. I've never known pressure like it, four pallbearers carrying a coffin, while trying to keep a free-rolling ball on top.

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Jenks
Jenks@TheLostBride·
I haven't posted on here for a while, but you'll be pleased to know I'm still doing the pet portraits.
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Andy Coates
Andy Coates@AndyWoodturner·
FL told me today, that whilst they had their "break" in Norfolk, last week, they had fish and chips one evening. 1 small cod, 1 small haddock, 2 small chips, 2 bottles of water. £38. I can't stop thinking about it.
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Keşfet

@Conmom222 @UncannyBlingy @modestepoulet @crystaltippps @feebee_69 @jollygoodthen @elonmusk @BarackObama