max emerson

Spa + Spring ski

You can take my brother out of Florida but you can’t take the Florida out of his wife

My brother and I win the award for “siblings who wanted the other dead as kids but now are super tight”

@libriscent Is this how I learned I’m ADHD?

ADHDer's dream job: Being a Professional Idea Generator. Giving Unlimited ideas with absolutely no responsibility for implementation.

I wrote about losing my best friend Sergeant Pupper with hope that it offers closure to those who loved him, and comfort to anyone who has to experience a similar loss. It’s on my Patreon, but obviously is 100% free. patreon.com/posts/15214978…

@lilmickybooboo I was in a steam room today and I asked the guy next to me to please stop shaving because it’s a hygiene issue, as well as against the rules of the fitness club. Dude responded by threatening me and then making a bunch of weird motions where he sprayed his sweat everywhere.

The only thing Men should be doing in the sauna is sitting in silence, or engaging in a circle jerk. NO idle chit chat. NO talking on the phone. NO shadow boxing in full sweats.

This week we said goodbye to Sarge. His lifelong reactivity worsened recently, and after an incident that sent me to the hospital, we learned he was likely suffering in ways he couldn’t express. The most humane choice was to let him rest. We love you always, our goodest boy.

I wish I was in the timeline where our politicians did more about pedos than just posting their AI fan-fiction art

Had the best time with @OutOfOfficeCom

Brb gunna get wine drunk

@ennui365 We love to see it

@bluewmist But surely someone’s mad at me

honestly once you realize you're not in trouble all the time and really no one has power over you, the second half of life begins

Is the U.S. even gunna let me back in when I decide to go home?

Out

Wait- this is in my hometown?!

Mini me!

I’m finally done! This was the final straw - Anyone wanna come over and burn all our Bill Clinton merch together?

I just call and order my food for pickup like it’s the 90s

Never forget that reagan was one of the worst presidents of all time

@JuiceSimpsons 🥲

Weird that they added this detail to Home Alone 2 for the Bluray, it doesn't even make sense date-wise