MENS MANUAL®

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.

What do you call a girl that doesn't like sports? Single.

Every guy loves a short girl with a nice ass

@Chrisweston22 at the Waterford game?

Never rush a man when taking a shit. You will just add another 20 minutes.

A cold beer at the end of the day is the best thing a man could ask for.

What's the difference between a mosquito & a blonde? A mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

Boobs are great, but asses are just that much better.

It only takes 3.5 inches to please a woman. It doesn't matter if its visa or master card.

Ladies...You gotta understand that men don't want to text every second of the day. #TrueFact

Self-Explanatory..

You think pregnancy is hard? Trying being on a 25 kill strike in cod with an itchy ball sack.

Real men don't wear pink, They eat it.

Women are good for 70 things.. Sandwich & 69.

Things That Men Know About Women... 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Women Have Breasts.

Every guy loves a short girl with a nice ass.

I've come to conclusion when women say "Do whatever you want" You do NOT do whatever you want.

I got that bitch a plunger. Bitches love bringing up old shit.

RT if you'd want this couch!

Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There's no need to remind him every 6 months about it.