Qyreia

I love my little R3 droid, but there’s still a certain level of sick amusement in seeing an AI economic crash. Guys, they can barely fly a ship. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, will ever outstrip good old fashioned wrinkly gray matter.

To the Council of the Brotherhood: I hope you choke on an inundation of syphillatic Hutt gronk, and that the affliction rots your gray matter before you're able to procreate and spread your banthashite to the rest of the galaxy. You know why. Very sincerely, The Red Qek

There is a critical point while drinking when speaking Shyriiwook flows and when it slurs incomprehensibly. And I have hit that point.

If you aren’t prepared for a dramatic dissertation and reenactment, rife with profanity and complaints, then don’t karking ask how my day is going.

What do you call magic for caf? The dark roast arts.

“Who doesn’t love a good hole?” -contextless quote (it’s a Selonian in their den)

Pulled a toasted mallow off the stick sideways. Some man somewhere in the galaxy just got a shiver up his gibblies and doesn’t know why.

Everyone always fawns over the Jedi and the Sith and the Mandaboobs, but do us true blaster-jockeys with a hope and a dream get any love past a single holoflick? No! Stand up to the injustice, spacers! #blastersforlife #hokeyreligions #hydianway

I’m not letting the intrusive thoughts win. But I’m definitely considering the ramifications and amusement of them in a noncommittal way.

So I don’t worship the Force, but I believe in a higher power. And I got to thinking today about what the god or gods were thinking when they made the Force. Like, “You know what will really mess with these mortals’ heads while they’re doing space travel? Space magic.”

Personal quote of the day: Revenge is a dish best served screaming. There will be no context for this quote.

A droid brain and navicomputers are nice. But if you can master the basics, even as simple as using a map and compass, you’ll be able to go anywhere. #philosoQ

Starships are a lot bigger on the outside than on the inside. Holoflicks make them look roomy mostly because you need space to put the cameras.

When you try to use ‘umami’ to make a cannibal joke and your lady decides to take it a WHOLE DIFFERENT direction. I’ll let your imaginations fill in the blanks.

When you have things like FTL travel and literal laser swords, the number of “life hacks” that exist are ridiculous. And I don’t care. I don’t want an “easier” way to do a thing. I just want to commiserate over mild annoyances.

Things I never thought I’d say but here we are and not just because I’m a Zeltron: “My stomach lusts for cheesy fried potato.”

Sometimes the things I see on the holonet make me stop and think. Most times it makes me question when humans classify themselves as “intelligent life”.

There’s a weird sort of balance when it comes to Force users and their degree of practical life skills relative to their capabilities with space magic. The better they are with the Force, the worse they tend to be at using a toaster.

Kidnapping a normal person: “Excuse me, does this rag smell like chloroform?” “Hm yes kind ofzzzZZZ.” Kidnapping a Mandalorian: “Excuse me, does this helmet smell like chloroform?” “Hm lemme see, yes a little, aaagh foiled againzzZZZ.” “…’Again’?”

Your lesson in Galactic Basic today. A hanger is something you put your clothes on; a hangar is where you put your starship. Personal is something unique to an individual; personnel are people belonging to a group. #themoreyouknow