captain crackhead

the pattern is recognizing me

at the end of the day a golden retriever is still a DOG.

The older I get, the more I realize how much I hate sleeping at other people’s house.

deep rooted respect for women who openly get mad and are okay with being perceived as bitchy

Waking up to a text message from someone I thought I’d never talk to again

stop crying about how people treat you & get the fuck out they face

bro you're a such fake give-uper i saw you persevere time and time again even when you thought there was nothing worth fighting for. i'm proud of you bro. i truly believe in you.

@felloohh it's evidently a handful of clits, wow

guys quick question my nephew (16) came over today opened his backpack and these fell out I just stood there like… ??? I feel like I missed something because I have NO idea what this is someone explain please 😭

@b0mbchell_ It means this?

Me going home to smoke the weed I told niggas I didn’t have

Man I gotta get off twitter fr

when i tell a story, i include the MISTAKES i made TOO.

@theereal_one her, no contest.

There’s only ONE celebrity i see in this & I don’t even need to say her name

how it feels pretending to agree with people so they stop talking

Me giving a pep talk to Netanyahu’s cancer cells.

shoutout to me in 5 years. i bet i'll be doing amazing

Not everyone should be allowed in your home, and even fewer people should know where you live.

wasnt really scared about ai replacing me til i seen this shi

i need to kill myself and start over somehow

i hate sentences that start with "you need to" cause i don't need to do sht actually