Tom savage

🖕 👨 🐛💤👔🐛 ⛽️ 👢 ⚡️ 8=👊=D💦 🎸 🌂 👢 👢

Is there a loving god in the universe or is he too a gooner, gooning in dismay at his own creation?

If maddy Quinn had a dick I’d suck it

Getting pussy is a logistical nightmare

Now imagine if it was 7 caked up white women tryna suck his d*ck. Do you see the media hypocrisy now?

I went beast mode one time and now I have to blow into a tube before driving

STOP BEING FAT LOSER!

I love bad bad that my that my problem

The entire plot of Lord of the Flies happened to me in the bathroom of the Lego store in Disney world

I’m hardcore watching child Po rn. Makes me appreciate my parents more.

I swear ugly girls found hinge and said this is it

Jewish girl gave me top, call that dreidel

She goin Wanda on my cosmo and it’s fairly odd

She jeffin on my bezos and it feel Amazon

I could never abuse substances. I love substances.

Bruh I don’t care if you’re British. Just don’t do it in front of me

I just screamed at the top of my lungs due to hinge showing me ten 300 pound they/thems in a row

took so much adderall that I invented a new shape and jerked off to it for an hour

Goddammit Obama I hate you, you made me a racist!

My New Years resolution is to be a better gambler

Idk what it is but I feel way different after drinking 14-15 beers