Tom Scorza

I'd never thought about this before but I guess it's quite appropriate that an expert on keys and locks is prisons minister

@daniellloyd1 any ideas for Ronde? You usually have some excellent tips 🤔

@MooseAllain Thank you very much

@TomScorza Yes, they pay pretty well. I think it’s £180 per cartoon at the moment. They don’t want stuff that’s been published before, even on social media. Email: cartoons@private-eye.co.uk

I have a cartoon in the current Private Eye

@MooseAllain The email address would be much appreciated. Do you receive any payment? (You don't have to answer that question if you don't want to!)

@TomScorza Thank you. I send in a batch of cartoons via email on the Monday after publication. And then keep my fingers crossed! They print them out to look at, so I put three on an A4 sheet, print resolution. I can give you the email address if you like. They do get loads each week.

@sturgios First, there was Harry. Now, we bring you Kate.

@BBCNews Bernard

Public invited to suggest names for next Archbishop of Canterbury bbc.in/3EoURi3

The solution to every problem on the British High Street is to open a Wetherspoons. Any small shop nearby will turn into a mobile phone repair shop or a takeaway. Job done.

@elonmusk Considering in casual speech everybody in the UK just calls it the Channel, that really wouldn't make any difference

New name for the water that separates England and France

@IainDale Well done Iain. I'm happy for you. A large ginger beer tonight please.

I was in Willesden Magistrates Court this morning, having pleaded (pled?) Not Guilty to a speeding offence on the notorious A20. I've written a blogpost about the experience. Spoiler 1: Case was dismissed. Spoiler 2: Neither the Met or CPS emerge well. iaindale.com/articles/speed…

@mrmarksteel The coldest winter I ever spent was the summer in Uppingham in 1986

Right….. here we go….. does anyone know anything about Rutland?

@guywalters I went on a date once with a girl who told me that her ambition was to live in 3 different centuries. She was born in 1975 (I think) and she wanted to make it to at least 2101

Ambition is to make the 1000th Anniversary of the Battle of Hastings. I'll be 95. Just 15,256 days to go...

@sturgios I thought you were testing us there for a moment

3. 4St Lukes Mews where Michael Hutchence died of an overdose in 2000

A short walk in Notting Hill- 1 The site of the Samarkand Hotel where Jimi Hendrix choked on his own vomit in 1970

@sturgios We drink the same fruit juice. That one is a particular favourite

One day, when the world wakes up, the people who did this - and those who allowed it to happen - will face justice

@anon_opin *Other mapping services are available. I really like the Ordnance Survey maps. And don't Google maps make a fortune out of their app? I wouldn't feel too sorry for them.....

The stuff Google gives us for free is mind-blowing: email, maps, translations, disk space, docs, sheets, etc. They could quite easily charge for all of these. People don't realise how good a deal this is.

Fast food? Education? What's the difference? 🤦

@anon_opin *21

If you're over the age of 30, your T shirts should be plain. No pics, no prints, no words.

Why does Gavin and Stacey get so much free publicity? I've never watched it but the media mentions seem relentless

@David__Osland What is the relevance of the individual who attended a private school? Are they not allowed to have an opinion because of where they were educated? Are state school pupils also excluded from certain opinions on education?

If you attended a school that charges more in fees each year than the annual salary of a classroom teacher, maybe don’t tell classroom teachers they earn too much

@Astrid_A_H And the screen on that phone was absolutely fantastic. I used to love it. I think it was better than my current phone.