Tom in Hawaii

@FilmLadd Just don't copy Canada, and put pineapple on pizza.

Sliced-up Spanish olives on a sandwich instead of pickles.

@Surfphilosopher @dtr300 @DrNeilStone Naa, chickens only have eating on their minds, until it comes time to procreate.

@TomTayon @dtr300 @DrNeilStone I know more about little parakeets who chase ping pong balls, interfere in backgammon, push empty softdrink cans off a table (they ding and can be pushed around). Chickens are bigger and may have bigger brains. Probably somewhat bigger toys than for parakeets needed.

If you stop and think about it, eating eggs is a really weird thing

@Bulldog78932701 It's an odd way to announce you are gonna propose to me, but OK!

@TomTayon Yup 🥰🥰

I still can’t accept I’m 49😂😂😂

@GarandThumb1 All of them?

choose, but choose wisely

@SikkSoToo I've been getting a LOT of "cannot retrieve messages at this time" since yesterday.

My Twitter experience today, over and over

@PsychCaptainX @ThomasJFarrell7 Wouldn't scare everyone away, just sayin...

@ThomasJFarrell7 My dick MAY be 14" and scares everyone away and that's why I hit a dry spell. Oh it MAY be the case, legs.

I can’t with the fear porn…people are already afraid to live, stop it with this nonsense!

@MikeManWorld @RapidResponse47 @POTUS The Democrats want this, why would they impeach him?

@RapidResponse47 @POTUS Brother you are getting too close to the fire You are heading for impeachment and this time THEY WILL KICK YOU OUT OF OFFICE Back off of this COMMUNIST CHINA plan

.@POTUS: I went over to where President Xi lives, which is something that rarely happens. People have never seen it before, it's amazing actually. It's a very positive thing to have these two nations getting along.

@GovApprvedPedos @AngryCops @markpoloncarz They could fall out of the boat and drown! I've read that floatation devices can fail.

@AngryCops @markpoloncarz It's all about destroying freedom and families. Thought control and thought crime. Wonder if anyone has proposed laws to keep kids from fishing, because you know it's going to happen? Can't have kids out with memories of fishing with their parents.

Today, I vetoed Local Law 3-1 which would have allowed 12 and 13 year-olds with a mentor to hunt big game. I have read too many child fatality reports and vetoing this law may prevent a child's death in the future. Please watch this for my full statement: youtu.be/bC0F8b-8UJw?si…

@Surfphilosopher @dtr300 @DrNeilStone Possibly, but they still do it even with all that available.

@dtr300 @DrNeilStone Looks like your chicken needs more calcium supplements.

@deaflibertarian @PelicanatAnchor Is the front of the truck painted to match?

I told HPG we're doing this to his work truck.

@cgore4 @rawsalerts Maybe a skateboard park?

@rawsalerts Obviously we need more programs and activities for these Waymos. This is what happens when they get bored.

🚨#BREAKING: Numerous Residents are furious after dozens of empty Waymo autonomous vehicles reportedly flooded an Atlanta neighborhood, circling a cul-de-sac for hours without passengers and causing major frustration among locals.

@LibertyJen @Mt2Aguy Sorry, I was referring to @Mt2Aguy

@TomTayon @Mt2Aguy There is not.

Girls on X too. 😂

@Mt2Aguy @LibertyJen I'm pretty sure there is a filter, or something, on your X profile pic!

@LibertyJen Accurate AF.

@Pickledfins What about bad iguanas?

Anyone have any good Iguana recipes?

@jimmy_walt801 @SamaHoole So, the activist, who is also a vegetarian, doesn't produce methane? I call bull farts.

@SamaHoole This would be correct if cows didn't literally create methane after eating the CO2 absorbing grass - methane is an 80x's more powerful greenhouse gas than CO2. You're confusing methane with CO2.

Activist: "Your cows are putting carbon into the atmosphere." Farmer: "Where did they get it?" Activist: "What?" Farmer: "The carbon. Where did the cow get it before it put it anywhere." Activist: "From... eating?" Farmer: "From eating grass. And where did the grass get it." Activist: "The soil?" Farmer: "The air. The grass pulled it out of the air last spring. The cow ate the grass. The cow breathed some of it back out. It went back into the air it came from." Activist: "But it's still going into the atmosphere." Farmer: "It's going back. There's a difference between a thing going somewhere and a thing going back. You've described a circle and you're frightened of it." Activist: "Then just don't have the cow." Farmer: "The grass still dies in autumn. It rots where it falls. The carbon goes back into the air either way, just without anyone getting fed in the middle." Activist: "It's not that simple." Farmer: "It's grass, cow, breath, grass. Or it's grass, rot, air, grass. Same circle, fewer dinners. If that's complicated for you I'd stay away from the water cycle. That one's got clouds in it."

@Mt2Aguy @emzanotti Have you not seen Sharknado? Nobody is safe.

@emzanotti And here I was thinking I was safe from a shark attack simply because I lived 400 miles from the ocean.

This map is incredible.

@Mt2Aguy Is there a reason anybody listens to her?

🙄

@alexandre_lores @PeterKHanse @PatAdams96 We almost moved to PR, but the hurricanes made us think twice. Plus, we got sick of plantain in about a week of vacation.

Good question. I mean, they get to vote for President, 2 Senators, and as of right now 4 Members of Congress. So it would be taxation with representation. Personally I would rather be a multi-millionaire and live in the tax haven US territory of Puerto Rico. But I am currently 0/2 on that plan.

Kamala Harris is now calling for Democrats to hold a “No Bad Idea Brainstorm” where they discuss: - Abolishing the Electoral College - Packing the Supreme Court - Making Puerto Rico and D.C. states “We’ve got to neutralize these red states from cheating!”

@DonutOperator When are you gonna do another "Let Him Cook!"?

Good job, Dug

Hey the world is bad and it’s gonna get worse, but check out my sous chef, Dug.