Sir Rowley Gherkin QC

@january_myth I love where I live now, as it has both a front and back garden. My front garden is very exposed, so I've embraced that and built up the local area with flowers etc. If I sit out the front, I sit under the 3 estate trees...openly. But I'm a male and I can.

I'm exhausted and away from home 12 hours a day, but my patio has become on obsession. I wanted to have an outdoor space so badly for years. It would offer some privacy, next summer ☺.

@Poppy_yyyyyyyy @Loverism__ 🫡 to Mr Bartfast! 😋

@Loverism__ I did take my husband’s surname for the sake of tradition and because he wanted me to. My sister and sister in law didn’t because they’d published their thesis under their maiden names so wanted to keep them to avoid confusion. It’s not a big issue.

I'd really like to hear the reasoning behind women who won't take their husband's last name

Newsnight has a young woman on, who has applied for 70 jobs and is still unemployed. She applied for 70 jobs in... THREE years. Basically 1 job per 3 weeks. Why is she getting ANY money? She has never worked. She is clearly not trying to work...

@ZoeNope As someone who has mostly worked outside for my entire life - the heat is now a lot worse than it was in the past. It is more intense. It lasts longer. There is less rain. Yes, we got very hot days. We even had hot weeks. But they were few and far between.

4th? What happened to the 2nd and 3rd?

For those who didn't catch it... This....

Troon alert on University Challenge... (might be easier to put a No Troon alert on the modern UC)

@DreyfusJames You really didn't need to add "feathered" .... after birds. I think we're all on the same page now. 😂

Oh no. Just caught up with the news about Bill Oddie… One of my heroes growing up. Was lucky enough to spend an afternoon with him, years ago, where we discussed The Goodies, musical theatre & a shared passion for birds (feathered) Lovely, & deeply engaging RIP Bill Oddie. 💔

@e1duchess They say practice makes perfect. But any cake you can eat is perfect. It's the practice that is part of the fun. I might have to get baking again!

So this isn’t quite the cake from the recipe because I clearly need to get a new sugar thermometer if I want to make a glaze which isn’t a ganache. Which is what I had to do after throwing away two attempts from the book’s recipes . And the lettering is awful as you can see the panic in it so don’t look at that 😀 But it does taste quite like a Sachertorte and it just needs some whipped chantilly cream on the side for it to be a proper continental European dessert. I also have new last minute plans to see my daughter so that’s at least half I don’t need to eat. Win win .

@BradfemlyWalsh Do they think it is an actual bank? Like Lloyds? 🫣😳

Jodrell Bank is in Cheshire, the closest county to Manchester. In fact, JB is only 20 miles away from Manchester. If Andy Burnham really is committed to Manchesterism and more power in the North then he'll be proving himself a total fraud if he does nothing to save Jodrell Bank.

@Shattubatu @OGPoutyMcgee "Failed murderer" .... that's all an attempted murder is. Bit like a Failed Man... or, as we say now, Transwoman.

@OGPoutyMcgee "Convicted killer" is a choice to describe someone you just said was tried for attempted murder. Did you get a gold star in school for "attempted thinking"? 😒

Seeing the size of trans pride increase from 55k in 2024 to 100k in 2025, to 150k this year is one of the few things that gives me a glimmer of hope. When nobody else seems to care about us, we fill the streets, a sea of angry, suffering people stretching to the horizon 🥹

@babybeginner Have you ever tried some catnip with him??? 😉

@MorganE07969703 @latsot @moanaparte I have a theory. Morgan and Napoleon are the same person.... but they just don't know it. It's like Fight Club... but with hideous feet.

@latsot @moanaparte Right thats it. I didnt want to do this but I have a signed LEGAL contract to prove RATS ate Napoleons slippers the durty bastard And people ask how monkey pox gets into humans

This fat old deranged bastard's doubting my claim that my feet ooze toxic juices. I'm not having this. My feet are a fucking disgrace, and I'll fight any man who says they're not.

@Jingerella66 You're on a slippery slope.... it'll Caviar on a bed of Sargasso sea elvers next... or you'll get cat shit in your shoes.

Today, we bought some posh catfood for the little old cat. Gourmet Perle in gravy. Lucy was putting in insistent claims for lunch when we got home at 11am(!) so Mr J gave her a posh sachet - curse the man. Lucy demolished it, and she is - was!- a Felix As Good As It Looks girl. She's just demanded a teatime sachet. I gave her Felix...

@january_myth No2 would give you more privacy. You'll be able to see out but people walking by wouldn't easily see you.

I may be closer of starting the patio than ever. I need your opinion. Which option is nicest? Pictures in the qnswer below.

@kazza2slayer You don't have screen replacement on your insurance?

OMG fuck my life. Need to find a replacement screen by serial number otherwise Mazda quoting £1309.97 (excluding labour) and new SD card. I actually want to fucking scream right now! Out of stock on eBay now to search for SD card 😭😭😭😭😭😭

@NadiaWhittomeMP Are you demanding the Govt is overthrown here? The Govt you are part of? I'm in...

Congratulations to the tens of thousands of young people who have been demanding education and economic reform in India. The ‘Cockroach’ protests were met with state violence, but after weeks of determination, India’s education minister has now resigned, and the protesters’ demands have been verbally agreed to. This is one of the largest challenges Modi’s government has faced in twelve years in power and is proof that no government, no matter how authoritarian, is untouchable when people rise up together.

@LetGaysChoose Maybe they'll choose a building for you that isn't as tall as the others, seeing as you're all friendly with them.

When I was arrested, a Muslim defended me as my solicitor. When I was in an employment dispute, a Muslim was by my side in the displinary hearing. Every Muslim I have met has discussed their faith with kindness and respect. So, no, I will not be bullied into attacking them.

@P_Taker_70 @damekatydenise_ @Gaynotqueer1 An Ol' Bob classic. I think you're right, I just remembered it this way..

@TransChicken2 @damekatydenise_ @Gaynotqueer1 The line was ‘I told my family…’

Everyone loves funny comedy! Here’s some of the really funny stuff. Thanks to @Gaynotqueer1 for posting this funny piece. I warn you, make sure you’re near a hospital as your sides will litcherally split at how funny this is!

@moanaparte I'm surprised you haven't mentioned your toe, at all. 😯 Though you did manage to squeeze "festering" into your post... unlike squeezing your toe into a pair of shoes.

Neither of us have mentioned what happened last night. We both know there's rubbish salad for tea, and we're both keeping schtum about the long and detailed discussion we had about delicious takeaway pizzas. That discussion's there though, festering away in both of our minds.

@Poppy_yyyyyyyy You could offer it out to a local allotment. I know some people use it as a natural mulch.. i think it repels slugs too.

I’ve got to have my sheep sheared next week and I’m supposed to just accept that the wool is useless.