Travis Hollifield

Why does Cookout even bother giving a straw with milkshakes? We both know damn well that even if this shake wasn't full of reeses cups, it wouldn't be liquid enough to get through a straw for hours.

I was so close to convincing my wife that there was an NFL player named Mookie BaDookie until she decided to Google it.

Almost finished with my Associate’s degree so I decided to check on just keeping it going and getting a Bachelor’s, and I’ll have nearly 3/4 of the necessary credits already before I even start at the university. Hell yeah.

@bropiates That’s one of my worst fears every time I’m driving. I’m glad you’re not hurt too bad! Hopefully there’s a fat check for you from his insurance.

@TravisNOF i feel like i got beat up but im lucky that’s all! i stopped for a school bus that had its flashers on and stop sign out and the guy going 55 behind me didn’t lmao

she has whiplash for an amazing reason

Hell yeah.

Why the fuck did Spotify add lostprohets to my playlist?

the bagel place gave me a fuck-ton of cream cheese for my bagel this morning, so I used some of the extra in the quesadilla I made for lunch, and holy shit. it was heavenly. highly recommended.

Rewatching Breaking Bad for the first time in fifteen years and I completely forgot that Walt’s old colleagues offered to pay for his cancer treatment, but he was so proud that he chose to make meth and murder people. What a dumbass.

It’s so humid out that I opened the dryer to put in my laundry and the glass door was covered in condensation. It’s 74 degrees in my house, so not like I keep it cold in here.

These Channel 5 Hunter Biden interviews have really improved my opinion of the man. Especially wearing this antifa hat.

My wife tried to buy a Labubu in the mall built under the ruins of 9/11, but I refused to harbor the haunted 9/11 Labubu in my home.

@TheWapplehouse Sudoku really got me through two weeks without power during Helene.

Many people on Twitter are too young to remember the American Sudoku craze of 2004-05

I had a Mountain Dew for the first time in a year yesterday and I'm still riding that high.

I should have figured this out years ago since I’m a drummer, but I’ve discovered that reading with a metronome is a game-changer for me. I don’t get distracted and start daydreaming, plus I can dial in the exact speed where my comprehension drops off.

Applied for a clinical trial for a new drug that’s supposed to cure baldness and they told me I was too bald to participate. Lmao.

@projectxadam It’s time for you to leave your corporate job and take up beet farming or otter husbandry or something.

@projectxadam This makes me excited that we'll be there next week.

@projectxadam I’m so poor that I had to google what a broker is.

Why are the first few days at a new job always the most exhausting thing ever?