Mr Tree

Might buy a bigger boat next year.

Keep lobbing any old shit down the bog. It breaks stuff and they call me in to fix it.

When I say that you’ve no idea the amount of shit I’ve had to deal with this week. 5500 litres a second is about right. Fixing waste water treatment works was not on my cards when I started out in engineering ffs.

@GodofDogs That’s odd. I don’t recall seeing you on more doorbell camera.

That’s how fucking posh I am

Chuck Norris hasn’t died. Death has just had a Chuck Norris experience.

I’d quite happily see the autonomous minesweepers go down to the gulf. Be nice to see if they really work. I hope so, I’ve been building them for almost ten years.

@thesundaysport Shall I mention my solar panels and battery storage to charge my stupid fast milk float or shall I just sit here in the corner and mumble to myself 🤣

Worst thing about this war? The milk float mob are going to be fucking unbearable for the next few weeks.

Just been passed the dockyard in Pompey and I can confirm that the Mary Rose is battle ready. Dragon on the other hand is still tied up against the munitions dock.

BBC news has had cameras on POW aircraft carrier all day. Was seriously tempted to do a full streak on the fly bridge of my mates boat coming round the corner at fountain lake earlier.

@SethAbramson I didn’t read all of your spout because “Seth”. With a name like that, even your parents hated you from birth.

Keep in mind, 90%+ of those saying "Israel [or America] wouldn't do this" are the same folks who've *never* accepted the hundreds of *proven* atrocities both nations have committed—while accepting 100% of Iran's (equally proven) atrocities. That's not objectivity—it's radicalism.

Some may ask, "Why develop a theory on this?" The answer: because we must. And urgently. Unsolved mysteries in a hot war *require* a "theory of the case" to determine what to do next. If we let default (improbable) suppositions reign, NATO could enter this war on false pretenses.

Apple cider vinegar isn’t really all that. Two days I’ve been taking the supplement and two days I’ve only just avoided shitting my pants. Just can’t trust a fart.

Spring is finally here. Just got home from work and doing a poo and I can hear the wild peacocks doing their mating calls.

@MissDollyBeads Tank fly boss walk jam nitty gritty, you’re listening to the boy from the big bad city. This is jam hot.

Since everything vintage is back in style…. Can we bring back fingering?

Easily 15 minutes ago I dropped that guff. Scented candles from Lidl haven’t got a chance.

@zarahsultana Silly silly girl. Hush now.

Donald Trump runs 13 US bases on UK soil with over 11,000 troops. We never voted for this. We say NO to being the lapdog of US imperialism. Shut the bases down. Kick all US troops out NOW.

@FarRightSkip @PolitlcsUK Judging by the number of A400M’s that flew over my house about four this morning, I can’t believe we’ve not got a hand in.

@PolitlcsUK For shame

🚨 BREAKING: The UK did not participate in the US-Israeli strikes on Iran and Keir Starmer has convened an emergency COBRA meeting

Can you apologise to the house for being a complete fucking batshit moron?

This cunt just can’t help himself with community notes can he. Fucking Lying. Pineyed. Spineless. Fuck wit.