Serious Element

i locked 194m and i’m getting 106k daily, since its 0.0548% per day on piggyvest, for you to get that 100k daily you need to lock approx 182m

Every nonchalant man today was once a lover boy. A man who's never had his heart broken is like a sword never tested in battle. Villains are made, not born.

There’s a New breed of Nigerian men that don’t stress if you’re not giving the vibe they want. Small shakara dem don move asap😂

what is something childish you still secretly enjoy doing?

There’s this guy that likes my cousin. Bro has been chasing her for over a year now, and I’m not even exaggerating when I say the guy is serious serious. He sends her lunch at work every day. He even paid her rent earlier this year. At some point, we all started begging her to just give him a chance because from everything we can see, the guy genuinely likes her. But my cousin refused. Her reason was that she’s a bit taller than him and, according to her, he doesn’t know how to dress well. Yesterday was her birthday, and she was lowkey expecting him to shut down Lagos for her. Omo, uncle posted engagement pictures on his status. He proposed to someone else 😭 Now my cousin has been crying since morning, saying she’s starting to develop feelings for him and that he should have tried harder. Women, our wahala is too much. 😂

If a girl is already paying her bills and living comfortably on her own, what exactly does she need a man for? 🤔

This girl during my university days, kept rejecting one particular guy because he looked "too local". She said he wasn't her type. He always appeared simple. No designer clothes. No flashy lifestyle. Months later, school fees suddenly increased and many students deferred admission. That same "local" guy quietly paid the fees of 17 students anonymously. People only found out because the bursar mistakenly mentioned his name during a prayer session. The bursar happens to be my course mate's Aunt. The girl who rejected him cried that evening. Next day, she prepared goat meat pepper soup and offered him. He rejected it politely with the excuse that he doesn't eat pepper. She continued to follow him, that's when he realized that it was quite weird for someone who couldn't stand him before. As expected, rumours got to him and he realized the reason the girl suddenly became nice to him. He told her to her face, "I'm not your type. Please, don't follow me around again". She lost him.

Make we no lie, The Akara was tasty sha

Thieves came to rob the bank in the community and mistakenly dropped a bag of money while escaping. Mama Tee grabbed this bag while nobody is looking and took it home. Inside she found N10 million. She knows she couldn't spend this 10 million because everyone knows she's poor. Everyone would suspect her is she suddenly bought a car or opened a store. So she starts selling oranges on the street. But she didn't stop there because she needs to get rich fast. She made a deal with some people to get a lot of people to come buy oranges from her. Also, instead of selling each orange the normal price of N10, she paid thousand of people to come buy it at N100 each with the money she stole. Everyone gets paid N10 in the background for buying one orange, which is 10% cleaning rate. At the end of the day, she'll end up selling N10 million naira worth of oranges, and after paying off the 10%, she gets 9 million of clean and legal money. Now she can spend this money freely and nobody can arrest or suspect her. Do you understand it now?

first in my bloodline to question religion

There are places we pass through in life… and there are places that become part of who we are. Manchester will forever be my home. To the city, the club, and every supporter, my sincerest thank you. These past four years have been unforgettable, filled with moments my family and I will carry with us for the rest of our lives. There simply aren’t enough words to describe the happiness and warmth we’ve felt here. Thank you for every cheer, every memory, and for making us feel at home from the very first day. Forever a Red Devil ❤️

Even Goddluck Jonathan that arrested Shola didn't send him to Prison. He was at Goodlucks house in Abuja and stayed in their boys' quarters for 3 months. Men have a level of sympathy.

When Shirley and I were first dating, I took her to a buka... not just once, but twice. To this day, she still jokes about how she couldn't believe I actually did that! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 But my mindset was simple... This is my life. You're stepping into it, and this is the reality of who I am. If you don't like it, you are completely free to leave. Instead of leaving, she stayed and genuinely enjoyed it. Once we established that real foundation, of course, I took her to Skye in Ibadan and plenty of other nice restaurants. Advice for the Unmarried. Don't put on a performance. When you are dating, do not overextend yourself financially or emotionally just to create an illusion. Show them your everyday reality from day one. You are vetting a partner for their true character and seeing if they are ready for a genuine, shared life commitment. If someone is truly meant to be in a unified partnership with you, they will embrace the authentic, unpolished version of your life... buka and all... long before they expect the five-star treatment. Build a foundation based on the truth first, and then enjoy the upgrades together.

The problem started when I said "e choke" in a meeting. My colleague Linda from accounting paused mid-slide. She said, Is everything okay with your throat? I said, No, Linda, it means the numbers are impressive. She wrote that down. She literally wrote it down. Three days later she told our boss the quarterly projections were choking her. HR got involved. I work in Toronto, in a glass office where the only other Nigerian is a man named Tunde who has completely assimilated. The kind who pronounces "schedule" like he invented the language. He avoids me in the breakroom because I remind him of jollof rice and his mother's expectations. So I suffer alone. Last month I told a project manager that the deadline was giving me wahala. He emailed my supervisor asking if wahala was a vendor we needed to loop in. I now have a meeting on Friday about clarifying communication styles. The worst was when I said "abeg" to an intern. She thought it was a new productivity tool. She searched the internal software catalogue. By Tuesday, IT had opened a ticket. I tried explaining slangs to my coworkers once. Big mistake. Now every Monday morning, Kevin from sales greets me with "How far?" but he says it like "How far, my good man?" and waits for a response as if I am a foreign exchange student he is sponsoring. Linda has started saying "e choke" whenever she completes a spreadsheet. She does finger quotes around it. She has made a PowerPoint slide titled "Nigerian Business Expressions for Cross-Cultural Synergy." I sat Tunde down last week. I said, Tunde, you need to help me. They've weaponized our entire lexicon. He adjusted his cardigan. He said, I'm sorry, I don't really speak it anymore. I said, You were born in Owerri. He said, That was a long time ago. He stirred his green tea. No sugar. No milk. Just assimilation and regret. Yesterday I overheard my boss on a client call. She said the deal was giving her gbe body. I had told her "gbe body" means being alert. She now uses it to mean proactive. The client loved it. They want it in the brochure. I have created a monster. The office Christmas party is next week and Kevin told me he is planning to say "shey you dey whine me" during his toast. He has been practising pronunciation with a YouTube video titled "Speak Nigerian in 5 Minutes." I will not be attending. Every diaspora office has one person fighting for their slangs and one Tunde drinking green tea pretending he cannot remember the taste of chin chin.