Dreamboat Dave 🚢

My Twitter account... one part love letter... one part mental health device... one part... something else...

Maybe the dreamboat goes down tonight, never to be heard from again...

A held waist is a happy waist.

@darkxfer Team 54 👊

Not bad for 54. On repeat.

Mission control, I have successfully splashed down on my couch...

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity

If you're the person sending fake phishing emails to employees in your company, no one likes you...

Will you take me on a magic beard ride?

Hell in a Cell except it’s just me working away in my little cubicle

Happy Little Friday to you Be kind to one another ✌️❤️

@cheygoulet 🥳🎂

Happy 31st Birthday to me 🩷

I don’t care what we’re doing. I just want to come home to you.

@mistereo143 You can't tell me what to do... 😂

Some non solicited advice for the fellas: DO NOT PUT A BEAUTY FILTER ON YOUR SELFIES.

I don't like zombie stuff. - me flirting

@TheBumblingBee_ New glasses are always fun, but these frames look great on you.

How am I supposed to flirt with you if you don’t know I exist, so rude

@mistrustme1 ⏳💕

Fit check, kidding I am already work it is too late

Buttons to be undone, one by one

I'm not lazy I just really enjoy doing absolutely nothing

@BookQueen00 🥳

Weee, I got a raise today! So naturally I’m getting chicken hibachi.

idk, man…i’m just trying to find my way home