Pete Cashmore

I mean, I scored more than that in the old format.

Hi @Cosmopolitan, please delete your account and rethink your life choices.

Stockpile weapons, write 100,000-word manifestos twitter.com/kvren43/status…

Q: In a household, a kettle is commonly used to boil which liquid? As ever, #tippingpoint treats its contestants with the maximum respect for their intellectual capabilities.

This lot on #tenable are as dim as a sack of rocks.

Argos in Wolverhampton is completely sold out of fans costing £35 or less. I blame Brexit.

Not for the women twitter.com/wolfofwallst/s…

I have to babysit two dogs all morning. Hyperactive ones. I hate hyperactive dogs, I only like fat ones who just sit there expecting you to chub them up.

@Colak Felt pleasingly 1970s. It's the kind of film that would have been one of those ones that was on the Video Nasties list but didn't really deserve to be there.

Shout-outs to the hundreds of people who think they are the only person to make the, "Yeah Gary Lineker, let's reply England vs Croatia, we didn't get the result we wanted there either" joke.

You don't think teenage boys' opinions on hair are valid? Sickening prejudice. We must include them in the discussion. twitter.com/Jacqui_Smith1/…

Completed level 3,590 of Candy Crush Saga which means that I have reached the end of all available levels for the second time. What a time to be alive, readers.

Stoke down to 10 men against Wolves #wwfc twitter.com/tim_spiers_Sta…

Try to raise an extra £20 and get that fucking hair sorted out. bbc.com/news/uk-politi…

@tim_spiers_Star Jesus Tim

First action for Rui Patricio and he produces a very decent low save to deny a zipping 25-yard rasper from Bauer. Or should that be 24 yards.

@DelSoulcondor I forgot how crazy that OC / Extra P one was.

@TweetCashmore Plus your spot on ... Mad Skillz shit was mental .... classic !!!!

Who remembers these amazing freestyle albums ..... boooooft .... some crazy shit on these .... vol 1 and 2 !!!!! Tidy as fuck !!!!!

@DelSoulcondor UMCs were good until I realised they were just doing Time To Set It Straight... Weren't Smif n Wessun on one of them?

@TweetCashmore Correct .... but fuck me side ways . Large pro and o.c , nas and six nine , das efx , and the big L one ... holy fuck man !!!! Defo the best freestyle album ever cos most of them were fucking trash .... and this wasnt .... simple !!!!!!!

I'm sweating so hard now that I just pissed the bed and somehow it got drier. #heatwaveuk

Now that I have no job, no chance of a job, no home and no money, I might join Elitesingles out of spite.