United Nations

Peace in the middle east for us means the freedom of rocket transports to and from Gaza by Hamas.

If Israel does not recognize the right of Palestine to exist then these pace talks are doomed for failure again, and it's Israel's fault!

The only pre-condition for peace talks should be that Israel must recognize the right of Palestine to exist.

At the UN, our definition of terrorism is like pornography. We can't define it, but we know it when we see it.

The nations of the world can not allow Israel to develop Nuclear Weapons. Israel must be stopped at all costs.

It is becoming ever more clear to us that Israel continues to present a clear and present danger to world peace.

We'd gladly pass a resolution condemning the fires in Russia but our European continental reserve of paper has been burned.

Women in Iran have more freedom than women do in Prison. Now that's what we here at the UN consider an epic milestone.

U.N. Elects Iran to Commission on Women's Rights. There is no greater defender of Women's Rights than Iran.

Working a resolution to condemn Israel for not stopping the rockets that hit Jordan. Israel should know better that Hamas can not aim.

We are investigating the reports of rockets fired into Jordan. Israel is presumed to be the perpetrator.

Objectivity and discovering the facts has no place at the UN.

Aquaman vs. UN? Aquaman wins by virtue of UN's impotence.

We have updated our logo to reflect our new identity. View our official twitter page www.twitter.com/UNGlobalPR and provide feedback.

We are excited about the new color of the iPhone. Then again, we are attracted to shiny objects of value when accepting bribes.

We have never actually stopped a massacre or genocide, but we do have endless debate about them. Isn't that better than nothing?

Thus Aquaman would win by default. Yes, there is at least one entity in this world more impotent than Aquaman, and that entity is your UN.

In a fight between the UN and Aquaman, we would endlessly debate about deploying peacekeepers against Aquaman but never actually do it.

At the UN we strongly believe in passionate engagement through the use of heightened language. Words can do what weapons can't: nothing.

Some our most proud human rights violators Cuba, Sudan, Syria and Zimbabwe — consistently vote against Human Rights motions.