US Post Service

Our service is all about trust. We could easily read your mail, but we don't and we never will.

.@jrfubar73 Sir, we may be paid to simply deliver mail, but there's nothing simple about it.

Sorry if the mail in Avon, CT was late today. A FedEx truck blocked in our guy, and it's hard to believe it was an accident.

We know the stereotypes, but the "post office experience" is really whatever you make it.

I always thought "Deliver Us From Evil" would be a cool title for an action movie about a mailman, but then that Eric Bana movie used it.

You can't leave your car on in front of the post office, even if you're "just running in to mail something." That's what everyone's doing.

@ulrichray FedEx strikes again!

Sometimes I wonder how many ransom notes I've delivered.

Just because we'll deliver packages with joke names on them doesn't mean those joke names are legally binding.

A lot of people want to know what the inside of those blue public mailboxes look like. It's pretty much just a box.

My son told me today that he wishes I was an astronaut. How does he think astronauts get the mail that TELLS them how to be astronauts?

I don't know why people think it's okay to use the handicap parking spot at the post office, but it's becoming a real problem.

@michaelbwillis Honestly, just draw a right facing mailbox inside an eight-pointed star on the package and it'll get to me.

Remember, if the envelope is bulging, you may be divulging (the contents of the envelope).

Just a heads up, if you don't empty your mailbox for a few days, we'll probably call the police to make sure you're okay.

@notdennisquaid We have to send undelivered magazines back to the distributor.

Yesterday, I saw a mailman deliver mail, the customer throw it out, and a garbage man take it away, all in five minutes. Circle of life.

We're no longer accepting packages with air holes because some bees laid a nest in one in Minnesota and stung up our guy pretty bad.

Yes, "postal worker" is the appropriate term, but "mailman" is shorter and tweets have character limits. Unlike mail.

Mailmen can't leave extra junk mail for people they don't like. If you think yours does, let us know and we'll tell them to cut it out.

There's no law against mailmen delivering their own mail, but we try to route people away from their homes to discourage unauthorized breaks