Benjamin

Give me a half measure and I will give you double and full. Heading West. Life is about to change. Love you all.

@BelichickPats you're wearing your mask wrong. Put the N95 on first. Then your other mask.

I bet all the bears are grumpy because their was no real winter for hibernation. #exwifejoke

If I'm ever in an accident the first thing I want the doctor to tell my family is, "We checked his underwear and they were clean."

Mom always told me wear clean underwear. You never know when you could be in an accident and you wouldn't want dirty underwear.

@SouthwestAir best flight from Indy to Boston ever. Thanks for making our anniversary kickoff awesome!!!!

The older I get, the more I have the clench my butt when I fart...you know , just in case.

I cannot believe in honor of Peter Falk and Columbo that we declare a national holiday. By the way I loved Columbo!

According to NYT I'm about halfway to adulthood. Lacking total financial independence, spouse & kids. Where do u rank? http://nyti.ms/aDaf5A