Christmas Vacation

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.

That thing had nine lives, she just spent 'em all...WOO!

I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the Untied States of America, and to the republic, for which it stands; one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Amen

Is your house on fire, Clark? No, Bethany. Those are Christmas lights.

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!🎵

He's got another car, he can drive! I have to eat so I can take my back pill!

Oh he's just yackin' on a bone. He got it up! He's alright now!

Corporate cards...

He worked really hard, grandma. So do washing machines.

She wrapped up her damn cat!

dog-kissing, brainless, dick-less, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?

and I want him brought right here! With a big ribbon on his head! And I want to look him straight in the eye, and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking,

Hey! If any of you are looking for any last minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. And I want him brought from his happy, holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people, 🧵

Yes, yes, it is. It's a bit nipply out – I mean nippy out!

Only problem is he's got a little bit of Mississippi leg hound in him. If the mood catches him right, he'll grab your leg and just go to town.

You smell something? Fried pussy cat!

Oh boy, this is a surprise, Clark. This is just a real nice surprise! Just a real nice surprise!

Save the neck for me, Clark!