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going on an indefinite hiatus ~
so yeah.. not really a surprise to anyone considering i've barely streamed the past 2 years as is - but i still felt that i should at least call it what it is.
the truth is, i've been struggling mentally since 2023. even though i try and put up a strong front for my friends and viewers, leaving vshojo and dealing with the extreme amounts of hate that came with my decision hasn't been easy and it certainly wasn't made easier when my dad passed away at the end of that year. the recent events have resurfaced a lot of that pain and still continue to do so.
my mental health was never in a good place to begin with but it's slowly deteriorated to a point where i need to make some big changes for the sake of my life and happiness. i miss being excited for my streams and having the motivation to plan out fun stuff for you guys. i miss being happy and in turn being able to make you guys laugh daily. i hate the type of person i've become and how many walls i've put up around myself as a way to cope with everything. i want to change.
i'm sorry to all of my viewers who despite all of my shortcomings and broken promises gave me chance after chance and supported me regardless. you were here for me when i needed you the most and for that i could not be more grateful. you've made me smile through so much pain. i want to become someone that can do the same for you on a daily basis.
i’d like to take this time to get professional help for my mental health and to build myself back up. i don’t want to keep coming back and ditching over and over again, you guys deserve so much better than that. i don't know exactly when i'll be back, there’s a lot i need to work on and change and even though change can be scary, it's what i need most right now. i want to put this chapter of my life to rest and start anew as someone you can be proud of. i might occasionally show up on other streams here and there but for now..
it's not a goodbye, it's a see you later. <3
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