thot pocket

If being an adult means staying in bed with a pizza one day and working an 8 hour shift the next then I think I'm doing it right.

@Jonskillet Don’t say nothing 😂

@WTeffJarren Girl lmao

Did I redownload Twitter just to start shit? Yes the fuck I did

Likewise sis 😉

Anyway fuck the sympathy you’re looking for. Out of desperation, you didn’t even get a chance to know who you were marrying. Aint nobody to blame for your poor decisions but yourself. Next time do yourself a favor and get to know your next husband AND the people closest to him

You sat and ate my friend’s food as a peace offering. You asked another friend to do you a favor and buy flowers for your “husband” and we didn’t even know you. The fucking NERVE of you and you didn’t even get to know any of us. What’s happening to you is your just desserts.

Lmao this is the dude who married my “friend” three weeks after he broke up with his bf of four years. Imagine putting me and my friends through a traumatic experience only for your husband to treat you the same way as us. Go ahead and punch one out on your divorce card for me 😂

I’m not sure why parents always think that they’re immune from any type of criticism from someone who’s not a parent. I don’t have to be a fucking parent to tell you that your child shouldn’t look up to someone who is actively being investigated for sex trafficking.

I see why Taylor Swift be making songs about her exes because I swear I do my best writing when I’m going through it with someone.

@brifffany What’s the teaaaaa

@brifffany You are SO FAKE

Hard to imagine a worse fate than being on this plane

My cousin got into one of the PA schools I applied to and I didn’t even get selected for an interview 😅 😓

@brifffany @DAVEFROMNATOMAS You lyin

Just got a POG Elfbar 🔥🔥🔥

I’ll never understand mothers who criticize another mother’s parenting style but can’t stand when someone criticizes their own parenting…

@desirose_s We just have to get to Vegas…😩

At this point I’m just waiting for my comedy career to pick up

I don’t understand how people can be obsessed with Hawaii but can’t even say musubi correctly?

I used the workout app during mild sex last night

I hate when people say “I wIsH tHe BeSt FoR yOu”. No the fuck you don’t, you know you want me to jump off a bridge so just say that and go 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️