WantonMonk

My brain is weird: I was thinking about cyberpunk today, as one does, which made me think about Stranger Than Fiction. Which reminded me of the sweetest pun I have ever heard. I then giggled quietly to myself like a psychopath

@envy_anne_nsfw MLA, in this day and age?!

This is how I sext btw you better be ready for a paragraph and MLA format with sources

@wobblymami Yup: book your next massage. I mean, clearly the right thing to do in that exact moment

At the gynecologist does anybody need anything

@GDchloelamb Ok but I do need a section then for the Toaster Bath suggestions. Cause I wouldn't wish some of their bullshit on anyone.

There should be a matchmaking service where adult children set their parents up with each other.

@GDchloelamb They tried it once, then a bunch of people got diagnosed with hysteria

Have we considered just banning sex altogether?

@GDchloelamb Does this mean we get to rate them on unhinged to functioning member of society? 😂

Starting a new antidepressant today called Auvelity……costs $650 oop. Going to gauge how it’s going later by my own tweets.

@Noturhoneybb Because this Lego Enterprise has a Battle Bridge. Duh

Why are men so hot when they build things

@wobblymami @urfavSpecialK Spreading the gospel clearly

@urfavSpecialK I have an idea for a picture of these if you’re interested in hearing

Not loving the chunky glitter but fuck it we ball

Warlock: Elren we talked about this. You have to keep the ethereal beauty of the elves under wraps or the rogue gets distracted and stabs himself in the fingers with his lock picks! Rogue: Ow! Sonnova Tarasque!… Oh no I broke my swoopy pick Wizard: We are never escaping this mimic-shaped-like-a-tavern to lure in travelers are we.

titty tuesday

@GDchloelamb If you haven't lived out of a car, taking showers at the Y, surviving on food from strangers and the break room, you haven't wanted ‘it’ enough Or you are from a functioning family or wahtever

I am exclusively attracted to men who have won the genetic lottery but have most certainly been homeless at least once.

@YourIvoryFox I’m sorry but when I am post workout you can fill a kiddie pool with the sweat you wring out of my shirt. Are you sure this is post workout and not post nap? 😂😂

post-workout glow

@thePaigeCams I swear only like a quarter of those are me… maybe half…

2.1 million views for a reason... share.myfreecams.com/Paige/albums

@bellesaco The gym. It’s cause your birth sign is The Gym

what part of my birth chart explains why im chronically horny

@otokyo__ I have many many times

single men's over 30 — Honest question. Could you travel alone for a week with no friends, no partner, just you?

@VikingBarbie_ The amount of people who missed the duct tape on the wall is wild

@bluewmist There are more hard days than easy ones. Working out on the hard days shows yourself that you can. Something is better than nothing

People who exercise even when they don't feel like it, what's your trick?

@thePaigeCams Oh huh… sounds like you need to schedule things for tomorrow otherwise you will be distracted all day

just made myself cum for the first time in like 2 weeks and it was so intense my ears are still ringing oh my good lord

Megan Fox need to remain this unchill… forever Cause fuck me sideways

@kitthebeefcake Some of us a busy. Damn.

Genuinely stunned when a man doesn’t text me back immediately

@GDchloelamb Civilian: How did you know she was a lil drunk? Cop: Well she tried to pull the Wendy’s over like it was a traffic stop. I still haven't gotten my frosty! You: Frosty’s aren't for narks! — Tonight. Probably.

@CrystalClarkXo Please. Those are reserved for the Godzilla onesie

@WantonMonk That’s only because my sparkly crocs were in my other car LOL!!!!

Incase anyone wonders what I do on my free time… I like to spend 75$ on ice cream. 🍦 I LOOOOOOVE THIS ICE CREAM SHOP. If you ever pop into a “sorry not sorry” ice cream shop in Vegas, there’s a high chance you might see me lol 😂 I’m a very frequent customer LOL!!! 😂 SHAMELESS