Wanzyoo

Lately I’ve been feeling really lost about both work and life… Because I’m doing my studies and my job at the same time, I’m basically running between the two every day. Recently my studies reached a point where I need to make an important decision. But a couple of days ago my supervisor suddenly told me the company wants to promote me. They want me to go to the United States to work as a manager while continuing training. Which means I would have to leave my family and friends. And it would also completely change the plans I originally had for my studies. To be honest, being offered a promotion at my age is definitely a kind of recognition, and I’m really grateful for it. But at the same time, I genuinely want to continue studying too. And then there’s the situation with Nebbie e-chan. I can clearly feel that the way he interacts with me doesn’t really feel like normal nebbie friends anymore. I’m not stupid. Normal nebbie friends don’t go out to dinner and somehow end up with candlelight dinners, play Love Story in the car, buy a wedding dress for a Nayu pape, or show up at my door when I’m sick and squat outside when I don’t answer. I honestly don’t know how I’m supposed to respond to all of that. Especially when there’s a chance I might leave China soon… which would mean leaving him too. I’ve been single for a long time because I’m not very good at romance, and I’m also pretty career-oriented. I often worry that relationships require emotional support that I might not be good at giving. Because of that, I feel a bit sorry toward E-chan as well. I probably shouldn’t be telling everyone this. It’s honestly just my own personal problem. But your advice has always been really helpful… and at this point I feel like I can’t do this without you guys anymore...

I feel like I missed everything… I suddenly got a fever today. I didn’t go to work, and I also missed nayu’s cover stream. I’ve basically been half-unconscious the whole day. I had actually drawn a crying nayu to give to nebbie E-chan and planned to invite him out for dinner, but I just collapsed like this. When nayu started streaming, E-chan even called me, but I was so out of it that I didn’t pick up. He kept sending me messages and I still haven’t replied. I honestly feel really bad about it. I feel like I should call him back, but I’m in such a terrible state right now… My voice sounds like Donald Duck. If I text him to explain, I’m worried he’ll start worrying about me too… I really don’t know what to do. I even prepared three akasupas for nayu, and I didn’t manage to send any of them either.

It’s been a while since I last updated this little story… I’ve just been really busy lately. Nothing particularly dramatic happened. It’s just that Nebbie E chan has been going to work looking cheerful every day now. He used to keep a straight face and act all cool, but lately he’s been smiling more, and people seem more willing to talk to him. Since I’m still continuing my studies, I’ve mostly been allowed to work from home recently, so I haven’t been going into the office much. That means we haven’t had many interactions… until today at noon. That annoying female coworker from last time messaged me and asked if I also knew about the game E chan mentioned. She said she noticed my computer wallpaper was nayu. I was confused and asked her what was going on. She said that recently E chan has been smiling at her gently at work, and that he might have feelings for her. She said she doesn’t want to let him down, so she’s going to learn more about his interests so they’ll have common topics in the future. Then she even sent me a shy emoji. Girl… I honestly didn’t know what to say. I had a meeting at noon and a class in the afternoon, so I still haven’t replied to her. I also haven’t asked E chan about it. I’m feeling kind of irritated right now…

I have a super cute date tonight~~~ yay!!!! Fuck yes!!!!

I really have to take the initiative and do something now… Today was supposed to be my day off, but I still went to the office to organize some work. I was working in the break room. I stepped out to grab my takeout, and when I came back… My Nayu pape had a tiny bow tie on it. And there was a private contact left behind. It's so cute... The bow tie is genius. He literally stapled it onto pape and hung it there. Help... I seriously need to make a move too. I can’t even focus on work anymore... Is this some new strategy of his to get me to agree with his ideas? Is he trying to weaponize pape to make me too soft to argue with him? 😭

I messed it up… everything went in the worst possible direction. At dinner, I awkwardly sat next to him. Since our big boss was there too, I kept trying to find a moment where we could whisper to each other. Finally, when everyone was focused on another topic, I quietly tugged on his sleeve and asked, “I saw your phone case…” Before I could even finish, this overly pretentious woman from the company suddenly cut in loudly: “Oh! I was going to ask too — what’s that card? It looks so cute!” Everyone turned to look at us. He stiffened and said it was a character from a game he really liked. I just… what? Someone kept asking him about it, and he said it was from FSP. He plays one of their games, Ravanis, and his favorite character is Nayuta. It’s about four male characters fighting each other. Right. Sure. Okay. That’s when I decided internally to just play dead. I quietly pulled my own phone — which I had deliberately left on the table — back toward me and pretended nothing had happened. Then when dinner ended and we were about to call a taxi, I took out my phone to make a call. I turned my head. His pupils were dilated. His mouth was slightly open. And his ears were ridiculously red. I am completely done for. How am I supposed to talk to him after this? Our project isn’t even finished yet. It’s jover.