Wayne

My body is a machine that turns mildly significant events into crash outs

@robcracks Union bindings will go every time

#Goldenhour If you guess the brand of my snowboard you get a kiss.

@ninjbot5 Didn’t know, good shout

@WayneLastName Done this so many times. Wired headphones are incredibly resilient. Wonderful product

Accidentally ran a pair of wired Apple headphones through washer and dryer and they work completely fine I am absolutely shocked

Just passed a Waymo and gave it the side eye for going so slow in the left lane before remembering there is no driver in the car I’m such a clown

Yeahhhhh back to back 11hr shifts at the site and working the weekend this weekend I’m about to slap my two week notice on HRs desk with malice in two weeks

Windows down stateside by pinkpatheress on aux I have no shame except I am deeply ashamed

Just reminded myself and the world again that I am elite at parallel parking. I really own the GOAT title in that category all while driving a very low visibility rig there’s levels to this game

@Lizzie_Baseball Where did you get this picture of me

Biological and agricultural engineering is all one department at the University of Arkansas, which means every time I walk past their lounge I see women who look like this next to men that look like that

How do Waymo’s charge their battery

@KingOfSaltyNut @ninjbot5 Yes twin we are never better !!

@WayneLastName @ninjbot5 Bro u good 😢❤️

You’ll meet a girl and then you want to hop off a bridge for the next 7 years of your life think about that

@ninjbot5 Oh good didn’t know this X existed we are so back !!!

@WayneLastName No Wayne!!!

Hangovers are a ploy from Big Alcohol to make you keep drinking I don’t even want this miller lite

@ninjbot5 Holy free real estate. I agree with all of those things anyway except for 2 simply because I don’t care

Kenny is having a wonderful day. Before @WayneLastName troll ass gets going, yes, I realize nobody asked. 1. Olivia Dean is incredible 2. FSU desperately deserves an at large bid 3. Chick Fil A continues to do it at the highest level 4. Making coffee at home clears

Jarvis play into yesterday by sugar ray and roll my windows down

What happened to married to the game on Spotify and why is it someone’s SoundCloud cover on Future’s official page

@treayoungburner Sorry trea they sell beer and it was awesome forza milannnnnn

@WayneLastName Didn’t know that. Still 🪵

@treayoungburner why did you encourage me to buy tickets to the Milan derby knowing they don’t sell beer during the match I’m gonna be so bored

Traveled all the way to the men’s fashion capital of the world and my brother said “let go to Zara I bet it’s sick here” dude come on

@KingOfSaltyNut Seems like you should just not fly that airline anymore then chief

I may sound like a broken record but FUCK AMERICAN AIRLINES HOW ARE THEY STILL IN BUSINESS

@nolemiss33 @treayoungburner Thank you sir I’ll send you videos

@WayneLastName @treayoungburner Enjoy the football lad