Durham Constabulary Welfare

Are you retiring soon? Don't forget about us! By joining our charity you ensure that the vital support we give is always in reach whenever you may need it... even in retirement. Sign up today - tinyurl.com/y8n9zb5b #retiredpolice #retiredpoliceofficer #retired #Retirement

Retired officers, this is your reminder! 📢 Your service may have ended, but your access to support has not. At The PTC, retired officers remain eligible for treatment and support, we are still here for you. Click link to find out more: thepolicetreatmentcentres.org/sign-up/

“I want to go home.” It’s not uncommon for someone living with dementia to say that they want to go home, however it can be distressing, both for the person with dementia and their carers. It can be hard to know what to say, which is why we wanted to share a few things to keep in mind when this happens. It’s usually best not to try to reason or disagree with the person about where their home is, or to tell them that they’re already home. Instead, listen to them, and try to acknowledge and understand their feelings. For the person with dementia, it’s likely that the term ‘home’ describes more than the place they currently live. It may represent memories of a happier time when they felt comfortable and secure. It can be helpful to reassure them that they are safe and cared about where they are now. You can also ask them about their home – where is it, and what is it like? You may be able to use this approach to divert the conversation to a different topic – for example, by asking about any loved ones they mention. You can also try talking about a new subject like food or music, or an activity like going for a walk or looking through a photo album. By encouraging them to talk about why they were happy in their home, you might also be able to work out what they need to feel more comfortable. If they seem unhappy, try to figure out why. Anxiety can be caused by discomfort, so it can be helpful to run through a mental checklist - could they be hungry, thirsty, too warm or too cold? And finally, it can help to keep a log of when they ask this question. Certain times of the day might be worse than others, and if it happens later in the day it could be due to ‘sundowning’. If you see a pattern, you can take steps to lessen or avoid some of the triggers. For more support and advice, call the Dementia Support Line on 0333 150 3456.

#ProjectVigilant is our regional initiative that again proves our commitment to tackling violence against women and girls. It targets perpetrator behaviours, which are often displayed before a sexual offence, spiking or theft. 🔗Read more: shorturl.at/v5fso

The Police Children's Charity has a 3 bedroom cottage for beneficiary families to use. When not in use we raise extra revenue for the charity and rent the cottage out at a very good rate. thepolicechildrenscharity.org/get-help/holid…

🚨 Police suicide is a silent crisis – and it’s killing officers. More than 100 police officers and staff have died by suicide since 2022. Over 200 have attempted to take their lives. 🧵👇

We see courage and bravery in many obvious ways but today I have witnessed colleagues openly share their personal stories of the toughest times in their lives. Gentlemen you are a change for good. Be proud #SuicidePrevention #timetotalk

Happy New Year Everyone 🎉 There's lots to look forward to this month in Durham! View more events 👀👉 What’s on in Durham | Your guide to Durham Events and Festivals #lovedurham #durhamculturecounty #whatsonne

My name’s Daniel, I’m 45, and two weeks ago I learned something about my mother that I’m still ashamed I didn’t see sooner. She’s 80, lives alone in the little tan house she’s been in for half a century. The one with the peeling shutters and the mailbox she still refuses to replace because “it works just fine.” Last Wednesday, she called and said: “Danny… I need help with my grocery list. Can you come? I think I’m forgetting things.” My first instinct? Annoyance. I had deadlines. Kids’ activities. Bills on my desk. A hundred things pulling me in every direction. So I said, “Just tell me what you want. I’ll order it all online.” But she was quiet for a long moment before whispering: “I’d rather you come.” So I did. When I walked into her kitchen, three grocery bags were already sitting neatly on the counter. “Mom… you already shopped,” I said, confused. She waved her hand. “Those are just basics. I still need a few things.” She opened her notebook — the same spiral-bound one she’s used for years — and handed it to me. The list said: • grapes • paper towels • coffee creamer • company And suddenly everything inside me went still. She looked embarrassed, like a kid caught doing something wrong. “I just… didn’t know how else to ask you to come,” she whispered. “You’re always so busy, and I didn’t want to bother you.” That sentence — those ten quiet words — hit harder than anything I’ve felt in years. My mom, the woman who worked two jobs and still made every school concert… the woman who saved every drawing I ever made… the woman who put herself last for decades… felt she had to pretend she needed groceries just to feel worthy of a visit from her own son. I hugged her so tightly she laughed and said, “Oh goodness, you’ll break me.” We never went to the store. Instead, we sat at the tiny kitchen table covered in little sunflower placemats she’s had since the ’90s. We talked about the neighbor’s new dog. About her tomato plant that refuses to grow. About my dad, and how she still forgets he’s not coming through the door sometimes. I stayed longer than I planned. Drank terrible instant coffee. Listened — really listened — the way she used to listen to me. Before I left, she walked me to the door and held my hand for a moment longer than usual. “You made my week, sweetheart,” she said softly. Driving home, I couldn’t shake one thought: How many times did she wait by the window, hoping my car would turn into the driveway? How many afternoons did she tell herself, “He’ll come when he has time,” while the house echoed with loneliness I didn’t notice? I realized that somewhere along the road of adulthood — work, kids, obligations, noise — I started treating her like an errand. Someone to “fit in” when life allowed it. But to her? I was never an errand. I was her world. And all she wanted was an hour with her son in the home where she raised him. 💛 THE LESSON Your parents won’t always tell you they’re lonely. They won’t always say they miss you. They won’t always ask directly. Sometimes they’ll hide it behind a grocery list. Behind a broken lamp. Behind a request that doesn’t really need doing. Go anyway. Sit at their table. Drink the bad coffee. Let them tell you stories you’ve heard a thousand times. Because one day the chair will be empty. The notebook will be closed. The porch light will be off. And you’ll wish you had treated an ordinary Wednesday like the priceless moment it truly was.

@OscarKiloUK @Cumbriapolice Fantastic team...fabulous achievement 💙 👏

Amazing work from @Cumbriapolice – winners of the occupational health award! Their Occupational Health Unit has set the gold standard in compassionate care.

Next week, Tuesday 18th November at 10am, we are holding another of our successful online PTC and TPCC Information Sessions. For more information about The Police Treatment Centres and The Police Children’s Charity. Register for the event today: tinyurl.com/w2emvn4m

Policing is tough. Long days, unpredictable shifts and exposure to trauma can be difficult to deal with and can affect your wellbeing. If you need to, it’s important to be able to speak to someone. That’s why we set up our Mental Health Crisis Line, which offers a confidential and independent line of communication. Your call will be answered by a qualified counsellor with experience of helping blue light workers in your situation. Asking for help is the strongest thing you can do: oscarkilo.org.uk/crisis-line

The first of our monthly mortgage clinics will be taking place courtesy of Police Mortgages on the 11 November 2025 and will be a monthly occurrence.

‘I kept being told I was “too young for dementia.” It was put down to menopause, psychosis, hysteria and hypochondria.’ In 2012, Anita started to experience health problems, including a stroke. ‘I knew something was wrong. I rode motorbikes but noticed my balance wasn't right. I couldn’t remember where I was going or where I’d been. I was missing chunks of life experience.' Initially, she was told she was experiencing menopause symptoms. ‘I kept being told I was “too young for dementia” despite saying I had memory issues too. It was put down to menopause, psychosis, hysteria and hypochondria.’ Anita also cared for her mother, who had dementia at the same time as the menopause. ‘I had this knowledge myself through experience, but doctors weren’t taking any notice of it.' ‘In 2018, I was so fed up with my own doctors, I called the memory clinic myself and explained my situation. ‘I was then diagnosed with mixed dementia of Alzheimer's disease, vascular dementia and posterior cortical atrophy in 2020. 'For women, the menopausal time is when young-onset dementia tends to rear its ugly head. But please don’t fob it off as "brain fog" through menopause. ‘If I had gotten an earlier diagnosis, I would have still worked, changed jobs, but I retired which had huge financial implications.’ ‘If I was diagnosed earlier, I wouldn't have lost as much as I did. But since the diagnosis, I haven’t lost as much due to medication and change of lifestyle. So, timely diagnosis is important.’ #WorldMenopauseDay

Those in policing put themselves in harm’s way every day to protect the public, with assaults on police now standing at record levels. When injured, officers and staff deserve fair treatment and recognition. Yet under previous guidance, the threshold to compensation didn’t reflect the reality of policing. As a result of a joint approach by the National Police Wellbeing Service (NPWS) and the Police Federation of England and Wales (PFEW), the Criminal Injuries Compensation Authority (CICA) guidance has now been revised. Through Operation Hampshire, we identified the issue, drafted a detailed paper, and worked with PFEW to present evidence to the Police Covenant Oversight Board, Home Office, and CICA. Together, we made this change happen. This work has ensured the guidance now reflects the operational reality of policing and the risks our people face. Read more here: oscarkilo.org.uk/news/fairer-tr…

The MELISSA (Mobile Educational Learning, Improving Simulation and Safety Activities) Bus is coming along to the Pioneering Care Centre, in Newton Aycliffe, for Stoptober this month. 💙 Come along on Monday 6 October, from 9am to 2pm - see you there! 💚

Our 2025 Thin Blue Paw Rising Star Award goes to PD Louie and PC Cuthbertson from Durham Constabulary. 🏆 Once a stray, Louie became the force’s first digital detection dog. Despite tragedy close to home, they both uncovered vital evidence that helped secure justice. 💙🐶🐾🇬🇧

🚴‍♀️ On Sept 25, Andrea & her colleagues from the College of Policing take on the 160-mile Coast to Coast in just 3 days! She’s fundraising for the PTC 💙 Watch her video & show support with a comment or donation 👉shorturl.at/sbign

Abandoned spaniel PD Louie, now Durham Constabulary’s first digital detection dog, has won a national award for helping find vital evidence in a fatal crash. Louie and handler PC Dan Cuthbertson received the Rising Star Award this week from @ThinBluePaw 💙