Whack Morris

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Whack Morris

Whack Morris

@WhackMorris

Excellence in Disappointment

Chicago, IL Katılım Aralık 2019
783 Takip Edilen1.5K Takipçiler
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Whack Morris
Whack Morris@WhackMorris·
“What song is it that goes, Around the world, around the world…” Record store guy: “Yeah, that’s…” “I’m not done yet. Around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the wor
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Whack Morris
Whack Morris@WhackMorris·
Lying on a heating pad. 🤤
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Whack Morris
Whack Morris@WhackMorris·
Packing all my worldly possessions in my foreskin and then throwing it over my shoulder like a hobo.
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Zach
Zach@Zaohz·
I hate when people enter an interstate going slow asf. I’m already hitting 70 by the end of the on-ramp
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Whack Morris
Whack Morris@WhackMorris·
Lara Cromf: Goon Raider
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dick kickem
dick kickem@iShitInMyJNCOS·
Bun to your head name 5 burgers
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Whack Morris
Whack Morris@WhackMorris·
“20 Amazon home products you won’t believe you didn’t buy sooner.”
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Whack Morris
Whack Morris@WhackMorris·
Have you ever dreamed this man?
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Whack Morris
Whack Morris@WhackMorris·
🎵I'm going back home With my fat nuts swinging 🎵I'm going back home With my fat nuts swinging
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Whack Morris
Whack Morris@WhackMorris·
@octopuscaveman They’re weird relics these days. Every time I spot one I think, “That person is driving a Saturn. Weird.”
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Whack Morris
Whack Morris@WhackMorris·
Lmao. Dude did this to a Saturn.
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Whack Morris
Whack Morris@WhackMorris·
Spent the last three weeks sick as fuck and recovery has been slow, but I’m still alive. Just fyi.
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Reggie Froudek
Reggie Froudek@ReginaldFroudek·
i did an absolute fuck ton of house and yard work today, please acknowledge my efforts.
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Whack Morris
Whack Morris@WhackMorris·
Trying to make some corned beef and cabbage since I was sick all week and couldn’t for St Patrick’s Day, but for the life of me I can’t find a single bottle of Guinness stout anywhere. I’ve been to 8 liquor store.
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Whack Morris
Whack Morris@WhackMorris·
Real talk. Chuck Norris was a scumbag.
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Whack Morris
Whack Morris@WhackMorris·
Chuck Norris didn’t die. He defeated life.
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Whack Morris
Whack Morris@WhackMorris·
@octopuscaveman I can hear Hugh Jackman’s voice saying, “Uh… Jean. It’s not what it looks like.”
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octopus/caveman
octopus/caveman@octopuscaveman·
Wolverine trying to explain to Jean Grey that magneto was controlling his metal skeleton and making him smell her panties
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Whack Morris
Whack Morris@WhackMorris·
Guess what? Chicken butt.
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