Michael Danger

"The south will rise again" was a warning about global warming. They were talking about the temperature, it's awful.

@jesawyer Those top two had a big impact on my childhood, so thanks bud.

QT with 4 projects you've worked on. Maybe I just did this. IDK.

@lexfridman @WhitneyCummings She's always joking about dating an A.I., you're always joking you're a robot. If she's single, ask her out brother.

I got to hang out with and see @WhitneyCummings perform at Joe's Comedy Mothership. She was hilarious! In private, she has always been a truly kind human being and a good friend. PS: The club is epic. I'm there often, chilling quietly with a drink. If you see me, say hello ❤️

@ClaireMax It's me, I'm the internet.

I have discovered the internet’s weakness and it is a muscular woman in a dress

@Hrmit_6 Dibs on being the next watermelon. 🙃

$20 she can crush a watermelon with her thighs. 🍉

@Shanemgillis Shane is trying to fugg one of the dawgs.

@libsoftiktok @FBIPhiladelphia You're afraid of some fat retard from Philly? You're as big a joke as he is. Bet you're a horse girl.

@MeganBitchell Pussy is a lot like magikarp, spamming splash until something amazing happens.

Fat guys love eating pussy

@ClaireMax @Schwarzenegger This tweet notifying me that you like jingle all the way has made me love you.

Chompy has not seen Jingle All The Way, the @Schwarzenegger Christmas masterpiece. This must be rectified

@ClaireMax Do you ever smoke before lifting? I've heard it's something that can help.

Stop making edibles so delicious challenge. You’re telling me I’m only supposed to eat a couple bites of this pot brownie? Have you met my appetite?

@Kelseyswrldnft "As she breasted boobily along"

The boobs are big and bouncy today, I love that for me

@ThePostsOffice I don't know anything about white lotus, but you mentioned my state so I'm gonna like this.

the next White Lotus should be set at a Best Western in central Massachusetts

@elonmusk Yo let me borrow a large fortune, I'm trying to see something.

How do you make a small fortune in social media? Start out with a large one.

@JennaLynnMeowri Sorry bro, I only accept rides from strangers if they have the black chokers from the early 2000s on. Thems the rules.

@ClaireMax Do you have any big beefy friends you can introduce me to? Trying to meet my soulmate before Twitter is gone.

I got big and beefy on purpose. I’m getting bigger and beefier on purpose. So why am I upset when clothes don’t fit? All of this thick muscle bursting the seams is hot af in theory, but irl my brain has trouble processing it.

@realaaronweber Gizangster

no limits

He's a 10 but introduces you as "my wife" in a borat voice every time.

@saguarosIut Drink some water go to bed. Good luck tiny person.

How do we convince AOC that posting ass will hurt elon?

@PallaviGunalan These media tabs are putting in real work this week.

everyone's posting ass like it's the first week of the pandemic