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So my older brother who was an abusive drug addict, alcoholic and gambling addict is going in for emergency spinal surgery…………
I’m broken. Truly so broken. I never wanted a brother to rob from me, my parents, sister, his friends and our nephews. He committed so many sins and crimes a part of me HATES him bitterly.
I wanted a brother who gave a shit. Who would protect me and be my best friend. I never got that. And now I get to feel the guilt of 20 years and dozens of times I will regret how our relationship played out.
Fuck that asshole. Fuck him for almost ruining my relationship with my family.
But I love him because he’s my brother and I’m better than holding onto hatred and regret. He always said he was the golden child and I was never enough, only for him to confide in our mother and sister that he loves me.
He never has told me he loves me. Not to my face. I’ve bitterly held onto that fact every day my entire life. So bitterly I almost killed myself because I thought my brother hated me.
But now, a dark peace has come over me for now. I’ll sort my stuff out but as always…..feel your emotions but don’t get lost in them. 💜
I’ll be back in a while Brimlings 🔥 I need time
— 𝓦𝓱𝓲𝓼𝓹𝓿𝓽 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 🖊️
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