whitmer thomas

i repost this every now and again cuz it still fucks me up. it’s so spot on

My friend @claytatum is opening for me on tour in November. See ya there. Whitmerthomas.com

hey @whitmerthomas I'm your biggest fan #TheBaldAndTheBeautiful

My dad just told me my grandparents are cousins. I’m pissed

Designed a shirt with Kevin Spanky Long for the Gump heads. Go on and get one now. bestgoodfriend.bigcartel.com

New shrimp hats in camo and sand/blue. whitmerthomas.bigcartel.com/product/shrimp…

Like this post if Seattle exists. whitmerthomas.com

Hear @WhitmerThomas's new single "On A Roll," an ode to casinos stereogum.com/2321455/whitme…

I forgot all about x. Here's my new music video youtube.com/watch?v=yMObZe…

Happy father day to my Christian God

Got a big show in LA coming up. Killer lineup. Get the tix. wl.seetickets.us/event/whitmer-…

Doing something special at this cool show!! See ya there.

taking 4/20 to the next level and smoking crack laced with cum

DOING A BIG SHOW AT LARGO ON APRIL 28TH! Scoop tix now. Don’t piss me off. wl.seetickets.us/event/whitmer-…

TWO NEW SHRIMP HAT STYLES IN THE SHOP NOW! whitmerthomas.bigcartel.com/product/shrimp…

@joneyre I mislabeled them as sold out. There’s more in the shop now

Got some blue shrimp hats up in the merch store. Get em quick. whitmerthomas.bigcartel.com/product/shrimp…

Easily the greatest and most emotionally powerful comedy special of the last decade-- watch it on @max if you haven't yet #thegoldenone @whitmerthomas

This what grinch would look like if he got his nut

“An Uncle’s Christmas (Angels in the Sand)” is out now, along with a few other Xmas songs on my new EP called LIVE FROM THE NORTH POLE. Please share. My goal is for this to get lost in a thread of some guy dressed as the Grinch getting stabbed or elf porn youtube.com/watch?v=ZeH4tW…