William Barrow

@liamgallagher Fig of the dump

To whom it may concern MC VITIES FIG ROLLS aka THE FiGGY ONE the last couple of packets I’ve purchased there’s been biscuits missing 3 in each lane only 2 some times now 1 sort it out there’s a thief on the loose IM SERIOUS

@NeuralElonyq What cat should he get?

A mouse got into our kitchen. I have murdered it. My inner Buddhist is appalled.

@JeremyClarkson Operation Badger.

Does anyone know why the highway wombles have shut the A40 near Hillingdon?

@elonmusk Looks a bit shit.

One day ♥️

@JohnCleese He looks like a young Mr Cleese. Did you boff Don's wife?

He must be a clairvoyant

@Baddiel About 20 years ago my friend punched a black swan in the face on the Norfolk Broads.

I’m not sure I’ve seen a swan with a longer neck than Joe Hart.

@HamzaA305 @ConorNigel @RyanGarcia 🤣🤣🤣🤣🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺💡💡💡💡💡👏👏👏👏👏

@ConorNigel @RyanGarcia Eddie Hearn needs to release the Eggstein files

Congratulations champ - See you later this year. Make sure you keep my belt warm @RyanGarcia

@MrJamesMay @alibali123 I got something similar

@alibali123 He does.

Does @MrJamesMay still offer a birthday "sod off"? Today's the day 🥳🤞🏼

@MrJamesMay That was what I wanted. Obrigado.

@WilloftheBarrow Something similar.

@MrJamesMay it's my birthday today, please can I get a 'Sod off' or something similar. Thanks .

@SkyNews Sitting behind a dirty diesel with vents open is far worse

Vaping in cars with children to be banned under new plans news.sky.com/story/vaping-i…

@elonmusk Do it then Moon boy.

For those unaware, SpaceX has already shifted focus to building a self-growing city on the Moon, as we can potentially achieve that in less than 10 years, whereas Mars would take 20+ years. The mission of SpaceX remains the same: extend consciousness and life as we know it to the stars. It is only possible to travel to Mars when the planets align every 26 months (six month trip time), whereas we can launch to the Moon every 10 days (2 day trip time). This means we can iterate much faster to complete a Moon city than a Mars city. That said, SpaceX will also strive to build a Mars city and begin doing so in about 5 to 7 years, but the overriding priority is securing the future of civilization and the Moon is faster.

@MrJamesMay 1907 the year of your birth.

I’ve bought a new padlock for our toolshed. Can anyone recommend a good combination that no-one will ever guess?

@MrJamesMay @bushontheradio Dave Phesant plucked Gordon window hole maker Barry from Eastenders

@bushontheradio Steve fencing Mike gutters John Ferrari-sales

Have you got someone in your phonebook with their trade as part of their name? I've got Steve Roof & Dave windows.

@AVFCStatto 18

It is that time again...  Here are Aston Villa's 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 𝐒𝐈𝐗 Premier League games of the 2025/2026 season.... How many points out of 18 will we earn in these fixtures? #AVFC

@MrJamesMay Beans in a bowl are worse.

Hash browns are the ruin of England. Bring back the bubble.

@charlie_kelly24 @JeremyClarkson @RealHawkstone 'All you need is mud'. Sung in Beatles theme.

Come on jezza @JeremyClarkson sort these potholes out 🤦‍♀️ apart from that an amazing visit to @RealHawkstone 🍻

@MrJamesMay @klara_sjo If James follows me ill call the rozzers.

@klara_sjo Your post about sperm whales made me lol.

Kinda have to assume James May following me has to be some kind of mistake. I do not feel worthy of such a blessing.

@piersmorgan Up the Villa.

We should have gone 9pts clear last weekend. Now we’re wobbling again, and playing way too nervously/defensively. We’ve been on this rodeo for the last 3yrs and I refuse to let us do it again. Our players need to put their big boy pants back on.. and attack our way to the Title.