Work Retire Die

walking around outside is like scrolling with your body

Nothing worse than a "hey how's it going" Slack. It's going badly. Seems like you're about to make it worse. What do you want, man?

Live, Laugh, Leverage learnings to deliver best-in-class consumer insights and go to market strategies

Washed up people - time to initiate the Jacked by late June fitness regime. You have 4 - 6 weeks to turn your body from a bag of milk to something that can be seen by the public. Shift to light beers, have 1 salad a week & buy expensive athleisure you'll use twice. You got it

every day i spend $21 just to leave the office and buy a mediocre salad and have like 18 minutes of time to myself to listen to a podcast. and it's worth every penny

her biggest enemy being behind her…

I’m on a 33 year old man on a golf trip with my friends and told them claviculars gf is pregnant and half them they had no idea who he is. Who am I surrounding myself with

The movie 50 First Dates but it’s not romantic

not now kitten, daddy is bullying microsoft excel on x, the everything app

Jack is the 🐐🐐 buy his book

forgive me karl marx for i have bought

i got Buy Polar Disorder

when i decide to celebrate 4/20 and smoke for the first time in 11 months and immediately get a surprise meeting put on my calendar

i might pick up smoking cigs just so i can get a 15 minute smoke break every hour or so

i love to have 6-11 beers and finally feel like myself again

my latest: i sat down with #SummerHouse star Ciara Miller for @glamourmag glamour.com/story/ciara-mi…

@lilydsmith You’re right that’s not chill of me

@WorkRetireDie oh so now we’re kink shaming

when the lady who gave a handjob to a dude at Beetlejuice the Musical is saying you're too horny, you might have problem