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If your parents had a dysfunctional marriage , your father abuses your mum or your mum abuses your father, physically or emotionally or both... If the long wait for marriage had predisposed you to certain bad habits like porn or masturbation or both, whether you are male or female... If you picked up certain habits that are becoming an addiction like gambling or substance abuse ... PLEASE see a therapist , psychologist or psychiatrist plus an exorcist, if need be, before MARRIAGE. If you do not , and you decide to wing it , you will not only destroy your life. You will destroy your partner's life. And your children's life. Be honest with yourself. At times, the only demons in our life is ourselves. Ustādh Kabir Al Asfar

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It’s almost 4 years of running @onifaari_tribe and this year, We are doing something big

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Let’s talk about the 7-7-7 rule of parenting. I know that some of you might have heard of it before. But what I want to share with you are rare tips that you cannot find in your regular blogs. Why the 7-7-7 Rule in the first place? We are all exhausted. I see it in my DMs every day. We are fighting battles in our homes that we should not even be in because we try to use the same heavy hand for every age. The truth is, you cannot use the same logic for a toddler that you use for a teenager. When you use the wrong tool at the wrong time, you do not just fail to teach the child. You break the relationship between you and the child. The 7-7-7 rule is the solution to this constant friction. This rule was first echoed by Ali ibn Abi Talib (May The Almighty be pleased with him). He said: Play with them for seven years, Discipline them for seven years, and then Befriend them for seven years. It sounds easy, but most of us do it in the wrong order. We are too serious with the toddlers and then we try to be the boss when they are already teenagers. (1) The 0 to 7 Years Stage. This is the stage to build the love tank. Imam Al-Ghazali said in Ihya, that a child's heart is a precious jewel that is blank and ready for any carving. In these years, you should play more than you lecture. One rare tip that you can adopt going forward is Overhead Praise. Direct praise is good, but overhead praise is gold. Instead of telling them they are good, tell your spouse or a friend about their good deed while the child is in the room. When they hear you brag about their kindness when they think you aren't looking, it builds a deep confidence. Action Tip: Find one small thing they did well today and mention it to someone else while they are nearby. Make sure they can hear you. Be intentional and consistent about it. (2) The 7 to 14 Years Stage. This is the time for character and boundaries. The scholar Ibn al-Jawzi in Sayd al-Khatir, warned us about forcing a narrow vessel to hold too much. Remember I talked about Taghaful (Strategic Ignorance) yesterday. This is the right age to use it. It means you see the mistake, but you choose to look away. If you correct every single thing they do wrong, they will develop a hearing block against your voice by age ten. You have to save your corrections for the things that matter. Action Tip: Start today by adopting the 70/30 rule. Ignore 70% of the small irritations, maybe it is a messy desk or a slow response. Save your energy for the 30% that actually involves character or safety. Only speak up for the big boundaries. You are building authority by not wasting it on small irritations. Pay attention to their demeanor and be consistent. (3) The 14 to 21 Years Stage. In this stage, the "boss" version of you must die so the "consultant" version can be born. The scholar Ibn Miskawayh in Tahdhib al-Akhlaq, wrote about the refinement of the soul as a process that requires respect. If you keep using force, they will just learn to hide their life from you. Action Tip: Your job now is to protect their Sirr (Sacred Secrecy). If they tell you something heavy, misdeed or embarrassing, keep it between you. Do not share it with the extended family. To keep them close, you must be a safe vault. This week, try to listen to them for twenty minutes without giving a single piece of advice. Just listen so they know you are a friend they can trust with their future. In all, the 7-7-7 rule is about realizing that you are a gardener. You don't make the plant grow. You just provide the right environment for it to reach its own opening (Fath). As a parent, which stage are you currently navigating? Let’s discuss in the comments👏🏿👏🏿

Ramadan may have passed, but Allah has not. The same Lord you sought in sujood is still near, still listening, still guiding. Faith was never meant to be seasonal. It is a journey of constancy, even when the atmosphere changes. Muslimah Essential is a reminder that your connection to Allah does not end with Ramadan, it deepens beyond it. Launch Date: April 17th

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@Ajokeaadee your attention is needed here

🎯My wife and I had the worst misunderstanding in our 14yrs of marriage during this last Ramadan.. It started like a small issue that got escalated into something serious.. That was the first time we would have misunderstanding that lasted beyond 48hrs.. She eventually realized her mistakes and apologized... ..but during that moment of misunderstanding, I made a vow to My self.. That I will NEVER return to the good husband she had always had.. And I meant it❗️ So, after everything resolved, I strategically designed a system that will disconnect the friendship we've always had.. I believed na there see finish de come from.. When we both return from work, I stopped sitting with her for any kind of gist.. She will serve, I eat, talk and I respond, coldly. Gradually, I realized the vibe and energy in My house was dropping.. The kids who will always be happy playing around can no longer do anyhow because I was always acting like a wounded lion.. Even My wife was fast loosing her shining smiles and sparkling looks.. Because the gist partner who always make home lively has turned a James Bond. I did this for about 5 days and it was during this moment that I understood Suratu Nas very well as a powerful prayer for Muslims.. The devil began to whisper several things into My mind.. "Na you cause am, sebi if na two wives you get now, you for just go to that one now to deal with this one" For the very first time, I began to envy people with two wives😃 . Then another option strucked.. "Now you need a side chick, na because you are too responsible and too available. If you enter home late spending time with your side chick, you won't notice all the energies you are saying is dropping in your home." You have money to rent a house for side chick in your area.. Enjoy your life . Deal with her❗️ Each day, different terrible thoughts began to take over my mind.. ✅️This was a time we've just spent millions on Xtraplus Pharmacy.. ✅️This was a time I was planning a big brand called Afinju coming.. ✅️This was a time I was discussing our next Project, Askariot Court 1 with our architect.. All these things didn't matter to me again but how to deal with My wife.. Then suddenly, one evening, I decided to shout Audhubillahi mina shaytoni rojeem.. I realized the devil was taking this matter too far.. It was massaging my ego while I was loosing on My productivity and family.. That same day, she returned from work, straight to kitchen as usual.. But this time, I went downstairs to meet her.. I know how I always start our gist and just like that, everything that looks like the world was going to and end ended immediately.. 🎯Why am I sharing this❓️ ✅️1. We are in social media age where everyone who talks about marriages paint it as if they've all figured out the rules and formulas.. As if they don't have misunderstanding in their homes.. That's why I deem it necessary sharing this so that you know that the homes you cherish, do have their own moments of hard misunderstandings.. So, don't tag your spouse a devil. It's an inescapable part of marriage.. ✅️2. Never allow ego drive into your homes in moment of misunderstanding.. Be quick to apologize or let go when your partner offends you and apologize.. It is not because you are a f00l, it is because holding grudges will drain you and make yoi unproductive focusing on things that will further break you.. Imagine me focusing on how to distract My own life with side chick while my pending businesses needed my attention? Fighting in your home will drain you and block your success rate.. This is not only spiritual but practical.. I was already thinking n0nsense when I should be attending to My pending businesses.. ✅️3. Devil will try you at your greatest turning points.. Just take note of this.. Imagine that kind of misunderstanding at a point we needed ourselves the most?

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When Khalifa Umar bin al-Khattab (may God be pleased with him) was stabbed, they brought him milk and he drank it, and the milk came out from his side... So the doctor said to him: "Make your will, O Commander of the Faithful, for you will not live." He called his son Abdullah and said to him: "Bring me Hudhayfah ibn al-Yaman..." And Hudhayfah came-he was the Companion to whom the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) had given the names of the hypocrites, known only to God, His Messenger, and Hudhayfah. ........... See more 👇👇

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Beyond Ramadan, your duas are still heard. Beyond Ramadan, Allah is still near. For every New Muslimah stepping into this journey, know this: Ramadan was not the destination, it was the beginning. The quiet moments after salah, the whispers of your heart, the effort to stay consistent, they still matter. They always will. Building a relationship with Allah doesn’t end with Ramadan, it deepens beyond it. In your everyday life, in your struggles, in your growth. It is not seasonal. It is essential. When we created Muslimah Essential, it was never just for Ramadan. It was designed as a guide beyond Ramadan, because knowing Allah is not a seasonal journey, it’s a lifelong one. May Allah continue to make it easy for everyone, And if you missed our last Muslimah Essential, don’t worry, Muslimah Essential is returning Faith Beyond Ramadan: Your journey with Allah doesn’t end when Ramadan does, it continues, it grows, it becomes even more intentional Launch Date: April 17th,2026